You’re Not A Bad Mother
By Drenda Keesee
The laundry is piling up.
The sink is running over.
The kids are in desperate need of a bath after smashing spaghetti all over their faces but never put one bite of it into their mouths.
You check the time. It’s 11:00 in the morning, and you realize you have hours before you’ll see another adult.
From one mom to another, I know how easy it is to slip into reaction mode as a parent and lose your perspective in the daily drama.
The monotonous routine of motherhood can seem to swallow you whole, and you wonder if that season will ever end. Suddenly, you feel like you’re drowning in diapers and spit-up, and you can’t remember why you signed up for this.
Parenting is filled with so many incredible moments that make every hard day worth it, but on those days when the kids just won’t seem to go to bed and you feel like you can’t take one more minute of, “But Mommy, I forgot to go to the bathroom! I’m hungry! I need to get a drink!” it can be hard to remember the beautiful moments of parenthood.
If you’re at that point right now, don’t worry.
You’re not a bad mother; you’re just tired!
You have to take your eyes off of the day-to-day highs and lows and put them back on the big picture.
What kind of children do you want to raise?
What kind of family do you want to have?
What do you want your children to be like when they’re 10, 15, or 30 years old?
Keep the vision in front of you!
The effort and decisions you’re making today will reward you later in big ways.
When you remember what you’re working for—the vision you want to see tomorrow—it’s easier to make the sacrifices you need to make today.
Here are four tips to help you find your perspective again:
“Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?” —Corrie Ten Boom
Prayer is a powerful weapon! It has the ability to break through difficult circumstances and emotions in our lives. Prayer reminds us to rely on God’s grace rather than on our strength. Find moments throughout your day to talk to God and infuse His power into your circumstances!
2.) Remind yourself, “This too shall pass.”
“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” —William James
Remind yourself this isn’t your forever. It’s just a season! Laugh your way through the hard days, and cherish the good ones for the blessing they are. Be present with your young children when they want to do something with you. Take the time to cherish their young voices, limitless imagination, and little laughs.
Enjoy every part of the season you’re in for what it is. When your kids are grown up, you may wish you could go back!
You can do it!
It’s sticking to the commitment when we don’t always see the outcome that makes it worthwhile.
3.) Pay attention to your thoughts!
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.” —Henry Ford
The enemy wants you to focus on the dishes piling up, the fighting over toys, or how you feel like you never have a minute to yourself. Measure your thoughts against the Word of God. Do they line up?
“Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts” (Proverbs 4:23, GNT).
4.) Remember, your attitude is a choice.
Make the choice to rejoice!
Know that you will probably blow it sometimes, but don’t get discouraged. Do your best to keep an attitude of joy and gratitude and to keep a godly perspective.
You have the grace to be an incredible mom; rely on God and do it in His ability, not yours!
“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6).
Keep fighting the good fight for family! The reward far outweighs the cost!
Listen in Now to Faith Life Church!
Drenda Keesee’s contagious zeal and humorous personal experiences help make her ministry of spiritual, emotional and relational wholeness one that will bless your life and spark a new fire in your spirit.
A wife of over 30 years and a mother of five children, Drenda has ministered at churches, seminars, and conferences, and through the mediums of television and radio, for more than 20 years.
Her books, The New Vintage Family, Better Than You Think, and She Gets It are available wherever books are sold. In these heartfelt books, Drenda shares her personal journey and the life lessons that have brought her to where she is today, as well as practical answers that all people need to live a joyful life.
Drenda and her husband Gary founded Faith Life Now, a ministry designed to spread the message of freedom in the areas of finances, faith, marriage, and family. Tune in for their weekly messages here. Faith Life Now hosts conferences worldwide, and sponsors both Fixing the Money Thing, which Drenda co-hosts with her husband Gary, and Drenda.
Through their own life experiences, the Keesees have found the principles from God’s Word to be powerful and effective. At one point, Drenda was a young, suicidal feminist with no hope of ever being “good enough” for her own standards of perfection. She never wanted the “inconvenience” of a husband or children, and she was on her own path to success. But the stress of trying to achieve perfection and perform for love left her broken and used. She had success, but it was nothing compared to the pain and loneliness it had also brought.
That’s when God got a hold of her heart. It was there—at her lowest point—that she found the One who accepted and loved her, faults and all. Since that transformation, Drenda has had a passion to reach women who find themselves where she once was.
She married Gary after attending college, and there she found herself in a personal boot camp of sorts. She says, “I cried and told God, ‘I can do anything but be a wife and mother.’” She committed to learning how to do it God’s way. Through the many years of raising their children and struggling to make ends meet, Drenda learned from their mistakes. “I didn’t know how to be a wife and mother, but God saved our marriage, taught us how to parent our children for success, showed us how to have financial success, and then irony of all ironies, He called us to ministry.” It’s truly because of these life experiences that Drenda can now share so many insightful principles for people who are now going through the same struggles.