When You Put Mother And Hood Together
By: Jennifer Kostick
When you became a mother, did you look in that baby’s face and reflect on how important your life became at that moment? I’m guessing you understood your responsibility but somehow removed yourself from the equation. You probably thought about every need that tiny, precious one would have, and evaluated how you were going to work overtime to make sure each one was met. I’m betting your needs went right out the window so quickly that you never even realized you were tossing them out.
For most of us in the trenches, the term motherhood has the word mother in it and yet most moms skip right over that portion. The word “hood” jumps out at us like neon lights. We feel like we are in the thick of it. Our homes are often our own personal “hood.” It’s a battleground of crying, exhaustion, and as you know… laundry. Lot’s and lot’s of laundry. Enough for experienced climbers to train for Everest!
And though we have so much love and joy mixed in with it, there is probably more worrying than we ever thought possible.
Motherhood is a…
life sentence. It’s forever.
I’m the mother of a twenty-two year old son and then after battling fifteen years of secondary infertility, miscarriage, and stillbirth, I became the mother of twins. One boy. One girl. They are six years old.
I often wrestle with a fair amount of guilt this second time around. Why? Because it didn’t come easy. I also find myself annoyed when I read other blogs or social media statuses that say motherhood is a broken place and a hard job. The reason I feel that way is because I know what an awesome privilege it is to be called mother and that though it may come easy for many, there is a whole world of women out there who will never experience it. Those women don’t want to hear lamenting over our true gift.
Yet, on the other hand, this is what I cannot deny:
Motherhood is hard. It can be lonely. It’s a job full of worry regarding financial concerns, moral concerns, and health concerns. As long as we are living it never ends. Even for those of us who have lost children, we will always be their mothers and they are always with us.
Some of us suffer while watching our children deal with bullying. Some of us have raised bullies and can’t for the life of us figure out how. We try to rear perfection until we meet the hard realization that there is no such thing. And then we feel defeated. We want to fight every battle they face and win. We want to clean up their brokenness. We want to heal and restore in every possible area. Our whole lives are for our children and we forget about us. Even worse, we sometimes forget the God who is the only One who has any control.
Friend, when we add the word mother to the word hood, rather than skipping over it, it becomes something so much more.
I believe the reason we fight difficulties over raising our children, and the reason we judge ourselves so harshly in the process, is because For those of us He has called, we have the right to procreate.
We are raising other humans who hold a stake in eternity. And just like there is a God who claims them as His own, there is an enemy who would love to do the same. We are warriors who fight for the eternity of our children. And that is why we need to remember who we are in Christ, especially while in the process of raising our children.
- We are children of God! (John 1:12)
- We’ve been created with purpose! (Ephesians 2:10)
- We have a gift and a stake in eternity, which we need to pass on as an inheritance to those beautiful children we love so very much! (Proverbs 13:32) (Colossians 3:23-24)
We fight every day on our knees as we bring their names to the throne of grace. We encourage them, point them to Jesus, and give them the tools they need to succeed.
Don’t ever demean your job as a mother. Don’t ever think you aren’t good enough or smart enough to walk in the most important, eternity building, role of your life! Don’t ever let anyone make you feel as if your purpose is insignificant!
What you do is more than cook, clean, go to work, and counsel. Every day you are shaping lives! And you are doing it for the sake of eternity! In your “hood!” The “motherhood!”
Jennifer Kostick is a conference speaker, faith blogger, Bible study teacher, and Author of the book Nothing to Hold but Hope. She is passionate about championing women to find their beauty in life. She’s been married to her High school sweetheart, Paul, for twenty-three years. Together they are raising three children and living out the dreams God has given them. Check out her Blog, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest.