When The Honeymoon Is Over
By Rhonda Stoppe
Dating, courtship, and planning the wedding are all glorious experiences for most women. But after the honeymoon, when the wedding gifts are in their proper place and life begins to happen, often the glorious experiences fade into the endless routines of to-do lists, juggling finances, and learning to serve one another. Did this happen to you?
It wasn’t long before my weekends became consumed with doing laundry and housework. Gone were the Saturdays before marriage, during which Steve and I would spend an entire day at a park lazing by a river, enjoying one another’s company. Even as a newlywed, those carefree days already seemed like a distant memory as I washed the dinner dishes and imagined the river running down my kitchen sink.
I remember one Saturday in particular…
I was in the house, defrost- ing our freezer. ( Hey don’t even make refrigerators that don’t self- defrost anymore, do they?) As I painstakingly chipped away big chunks of ice, I could hear Steve and his brother, Dan, laughing in the garage. Dan had come over to help Steve work on a project. I should have been grateful for the help, but I found myself resenting that they were having a grand old time together while I was stuck in the house thawing out that miserable refrigerator and doing yet another load of his dirty laundry. Steve was a carpenter in those days, so his clothes got exceptionally dirty.
It didn’t take long before I was annoyed by how much work was involved with being a wife. Soon resentment began building in my heart toward Steve. Even though I had already seen marriages in my family fall apart from resentment, I found myself falling for the mistake of harboring wrong attitudes.
My propensity to think negatively toward my husband scared me. I had watched marriages in my family of origin crumble because couples went down that road.
Wanting to become the wife I longed to be––but having no idea how to make that happen, I looked around at couples in our church whose marriages I wanted to emulate.
Titus 2 calls the older women to teach the younger how to love their husbands so I decided this is where I should begin my quest to become the wife I meant to be on the day I said: “I do.”
And do you know what I found? A wealth of women who were not perfect but real. They became my friends, invited me to their Bible studies and taught me from the Bible and their own stories how God can transform anyone willing to allow Him to do the work in their hearts and minds.
My husband, Steve and I wrote The Marriage Mentor, to encourage, equip and train couples how they too can have a better marriage––the marriage they long for.
Listen to the Stoppe’s interview with Focus on the Family
Rhonda Stoppe, the No Regrets Woman, has mentored women for more than two decades. Steve Stoppe has pastored First Baptist Church, Patterson, California, for 19. After 37 years of marriage, they’re still head-over-heels and ready to share their secrets to building a no-regrets marriage. They’ve appeared on Focus on the Family and together write books, speak at marriage conferences and rescue troubled ministry marriages at their ranch in Northern California. They have four happily married children and ten grandchildren. To invite Steve & Rhonda to speak at your next event, and for more resources & videos, follow their social media links and connect with the Stoppe’s at NoRegretsWoman.com.
Rhonda is the author of 6 books and appears on numerous radio programs including FamilyTalk, Focus on the Family, Family Life Today and hosts The No Regrets Hour. She speaks at women’s events, Pastor’s Wives Conferences, MOPs and homeschool conventions. Sharing the gospel is her sweet spot––she’s an evangelist at heart.