What’s Their Secret to Staying in Love?
By Rhonda Stoppe
Can I let you in on a little secret? Looking to your husband to make you happy is an unfair expectation. And no matter how “perfect” he is, he will never bring you true joy. Because the purpose for which you exist is not to find happiness in your marriage relationship—contrary to every fairy tale you ever heard as a little girl.
This is key, so listen closely…
You were created to delight in your Creator. God made you to long for intimacy with Him—to delight in Him. So any other relationship that you pursue to fill the void only God can fill will always come up short. In the same way, you can never be your husband’s source of true joy. That’s kind of a relief, isn’t it?
Do you know a godly couple who have been married for a long time and are still deeply in love? Doesn’t your heart long to have a marriage like theirs? What’s their secret?
As you observe such a couple, you may be tempted to say, “Oh, that wife is so lucky to be married to such a wonderful man. I wish my husband were more like him.”
Upon closer observation, however, you might be surprised to learn that the secret to their happy marriage isn’t related to how “ideal” they are as spouses. Rather, it’s because their relationship is grounded in a love that is deeper than their love for each other. A marriage flourishes when both husband and wife love Christ more than any other person in life—including one’s own spouse.
In Mark 12:30, Jesus declared that the priority of life is to love God with all of your being—all of it. Do you love God like that? As a young Christian, I would have answered, “Yes, of course, I love God!” and pointed to my busyness in serving God as evidence of that love. However, every once in a while I would meet someone who straight- up loved Jesus. A person whose life wasn’t about doing things for God; rather, they lived to love God so much that they couldn’t help but love others. Have you ever met anyone like that?
You know what kind of people I am talking about. You have to spend only a few minutes with them to realize they have an authentic love deep in their heart for their Savior this kind of wholehearted love is available to anyone who has a relationship with God through His Son, Jesus. When you learn to devote your heart to love the Lord, there will be a natural outpouring of God’s love spilling out of your heart and onto those around you—especially to your husband. (To learn more about a relationship with God through Jesus, please visit NoRegretsWoman.com to request the article:“How to Have a Relationship with Jesus.”)
Listen here to an audio excerpt of Rhonda teaching: Staying in Love
Watch for the conclusion of this article entitled:
Your Marriage is a Light
Rhonda Stoppe, the No Regrets Woman, has mentored women for more than two decades. Steve Stoppe has pastored First Baptist Church, Patterson, California, for 19. After 37 years of marriage, they’re still head-over-heels and ready to share their secrets to building a no-regrets marriage. They’ve appeared on Focus on the Family and together write books, speak at marriage conferences and rescue troubled ministry marriages at their ranch in Northern California. They have four happily married children and ten grandchildren. To invite Steve & Rhonda to speak at your next event, and for more resources & videos, follow their social media links and connect with the Stoppe’s at NoRegretsWoman.com.
Rhonda is the author of 6 books and appears on numerous radio programs including FamilyTalk, Focus on the Family, Family Life Today and hosts The No Regrets Hour. She speaks at women’s events, Pastor’s Wives Conferences, MOPs and homeschool conventions. Sharing the gospel is her sweet spot––she’s an evangelist at heart.