What to Leave Behind in 2019

What to Leave Behind in 2019

By Drenda Keesee

January 1st has been labeled as the day to start fresh, and to get back on track in life physically, emotionally, and financially.

Every New Year, we write out New Year’s resolutions, most of which we ditch or compromise a month in—which isn’t a bad thing. New Year’s resolutions are great, even if we don’t stick to them. Setting them allows us to take a step back, examine our lives, and see where we want to improve.

This year I encourage you to set goals for the New Year, but also…

…to leave some things behind in 2019.

Most New Year’s resolutions are focused on doing more, but what about the things we need to do less?

Sometimes the most significant resolutions aren’t about what we are going to OBTAIN, but rather, what we are going to LET GO of. 

With New Year’s having just happened, I want to encourage you to leave the following things behind in 2019:

1. Insecurities 

Insecurities can become a paralyzing obstacle in our lives if we let them. They can keep us from obeying God, saying yes to new opportunities, or even sabotage our relationships.

Too many women are living their lives controlled by insecurities and toxic thoughts about their self-worth. We think we’re too short or too tall, too thin or too thick, our hair is too dark or too light, and the list goes on. We try to cover ourselves up with makeup, hair dye, the perfect outfit, accessories, smarts, and anything we can to fill the void in our hearts that makes us feel unlovable.

There’s nothing wrong with getting dressed up and looking nice, or dying your hair, but it becomes a problem when you can’t be confident and love yourself without it.

If you feel insecure about yourself, it’s time to let that go. 

God created you in His image (Genesis 1:27)! He fearfully and wonderfully designed you and has given you what you need to fulfill your destiny!

Knowing who you are in Christ can help to combat insecurities you may feel. God affirms who we are numerous times in His word. He loves us just the way we are. We don’t need to be done up for Him. He knows every mistake we’ve ever made and every mistake we will make in the future, yet He still loves us!

God designed you precisely the way you need to be to fulfill your purpose in life! There is no one else like you in the entire world, yet too often, we try to be a version of someone else.

In 2020, make a choice to let go of insecurity. Be confident in who you are and spend time in God’s Word to remind yourself of what God says about you!

2. Complaining 

Complaining keeps us in a negative mindset. It keeps us focused on what we don’t like about a particular situation instead of focusing on the positive and the good that may come out of it.

Your words steer the course of your day. When you complain, you are speaking curses over your circumstances!

Here are some steps to take to minimize complaining in 2020: 

1. Start a gratitude journal! Each day, write down one thing you are thankful for. Keeping a gratitude journal puts your focus back on all of the incredible things going on in your life, and helps safeguard your joy from the “little foxes” the enemy sends to try to trip you up!

2. Be mindful when you start to complain. When you catch yourself complaining, take a step back, and think of three things you are thankful for at that moment. We have so much to be grateful for every day, but often it’s easier to focus on the negative things. The JOY of the Lord is our strength. We have to retrain our mental habits!

3. Have you ever heard the expression, “Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill?” Well, one of the best things we can do when we have the urge to complain is to get a little perspective. Are we going to care about this thing ten years from now? Would we feel stupid complaining about this thing in front of somebody less fortunate? Often when we time a second to get perspective, we realize the issue we wanted to complain about isn’t a big issue at all.

3. Toxic Relationships 

Toxic relationships can be damaging. Toxicity is not exclusive to romantic relationships, but it can occur in friendships, family relationships, work relationships, or in any area you are interacting with people.

Now, nobody is perfect—I’m not saying you should cut people out of your life if they make a mistake or two. I’m talking about the people who consistently stress you emotionally, who you dread spending time with and afterward feel drained, and those who are continually scrutinizing your behaviors and actions and belittling you.

If a relationship is pulling you away from God or stealing your joy, it’s time to take a step back and set some boundaries!

You aren’t going to agree with everyone all the time, even those who have the same beliefs as you. Nobody on this earth thinks precisely the way you think, and it’s unfair to expect to agree with someone 100% of the time. Our life experiences shape us, and nobody has the same life experiences as you. That being said, there comes a time when we have to set boundaries in toxic relationships or learn to say “no” to others so you can say “yes” to God.

Is a toxic relationship sabotaging your success, keeping you bound by insecurities, or pulling you away from God?

When we know what our “yes” for 2020 is, then we see what our “no” has to be.

By clearing your life of insecurities, complaining, and toxic relationships, you can experience more freedom in 2020! 

It can be challenging and sometimes painful to get rid of the familiar and comfortable, even when it is unhealthy. I want to encourage you to make sure you are spending time with God through prayer and reading His Word as you do this. He will give you the confidence to be yourself, the discipline to have a positive attitude, and He can send you the right people to surround yourself with.

God didn’t create us to do life alone. We need people in our lives to encourage us, stand in faith with us, and be there for us when we fail. 

We are all human, and nobody is going to succeed in their resolutions all the time.

This Year, I want to encourage you to find women to support you, mentor you, and who are in the same stage of life as you or who have been in your shoes before and can help guide you.

Drenda Keesee’s contagious zeal and humorous personal experiences help make her ministry of spiritual, emotional and relational wholeness one that will bless your life and spark a new fire in your spirit.

A wife of over 30 years and a mother of five children, Drenda has ministered at churches, seminars, and conferences, and through the mediums of television and radio, for more than 20 years.

Her books, The New Vintage Family, Better Than You Think, and She Gets It are available wherever books are sold. In these heartfelt books, Drenda shares her personal journey and the life lessons that have brought her to where she is today, as well as practical answers that all people need to live a joyful life.

Drenda and her husband Gary founded Faith Life Now, a ministry designed to spread the message of freedom in the areas of finances, faith, marriage, and family. Tune in for their weekly messages here. Faith Life Now hosts conferences worldwide, and sponsors both Fixing the Money Thing, which Drenda co-hosts with her husband Gary, and Drenda.

Through their own life experiences, the Keesees have found the principles from God’s Word to be powerful and effective. At one point, Drenda was a young, suicidal feminist with no hope of ever being “good enough” for her own standards of perfection. She never wanted the “inconvenience” of a husband or children, and she was on her own path to success. But the stress of trying to achieve perfection and perform for love left her broken and used. She had success, but it was nothing compared to the pain and loneliness it had also brought.

That’s when God got a hold of her heart. It was there—at her lowest point—that she found the One who accepted and loved her, faults and all. Since that transformation, Drenda has had a passion to reach women who find themselves where she once was.

She married Gary after attending college, and there she found herself in a personal boot camp of sorts. She says, “I cried and told God, ‘I can do anything but be a wife and mother.’” She committed to learning how to do it God’s way. Through the many years of raising their children and struggling to make ends meet, Drenda learned from their mistakes. “I didn’t know how to be a wife and mother, but God saved our marriage, taught us how to parent our children for success, showed us how to have financial success, and then irony of all ironies, He called us to ministry.” It’s truly because of these life experiences that Drenda can now share so many insightful principles for people who are now going through the same struggles.