What Really Makes You Beautiful to Your Husband?
by Rhonda Stoppe
We all envy the couple who seem captivated by each other. You know who they are. They catch each other’s gaze across the room and give a flirtatious wink. Who is this wife who seems to hold her husband’s attention in spite of children, financial difficulties, and those extra pounds she has held onto since the babies came?
Don’t you want to be that woman? What is her secret? How has this wife managed to keep her husband’s attention, and what can you learn from her?
Here’s the secret…
We’ve all read in 1 Timothy 2 where godly women are encouraged to focus less on adorning themselves externally and instead, to live in a manner that professes godliness. But we still want our husbands to find us beautiful––am I right?
While taking care to present yourself lovely to your husband is an important way to bless your man, God’s secret to capturing your husband’s affection for a lifetime is for you to be devoted to developing your inner beauty.
An Example of Inner Beauty
A wonderful example of a woman who exuded beauty from within is Ruth. The Bible tells us Ruth lived in Moab. There, she was married to a Jewish man, only to have him die along with his father and brother.
When Ruth’s widowed mother-in-law, Naomi, decided to return to her homeland of Israel, the recently widowed Ruth was determined to go with her. In doing this, Ruth professed her loyalty to the God of Israel and would not be turning back to Moab.
After Naomi and Ruth arrived in Israel, they found themselves destitute. Since Naomi was too old to work, Ruth went out daily to glean the leftover grain in the fields. Through God’s providence, Ruth ended up gathering grain in a field owned by Boaz, who graciously looked out for her safety and well-being. I especially love when Boaz told Ruth, “Have I not commanded the young men not to touch you?”(Ruth 2:8-13).
Imagine how frightened Ruth must have been to daily make herself vulnerable by gathering grain in a field where foreign men would likely have not treated her favorably. I get chills when I think about Boaz “riding in on his horse,” so to speak, and coming to her rescue. Now that’s a knight-in-shining-armor story! So what made this maiden from a foreign land so attractive to Boaz?
One Bible teacher provided this list of character qualities that made Ruth not only lovely to look at, but inwardly radiant. I believe she personified the traits found in the excellent wife of Proverbs 31. Let’s look at those qualities:
Devoted to Her Family
Ruth was devoted to her family. She displayed her devotion to her mother-in-law when Naomi entreated her to return to her people.
Would your husband consider you devoted to your family? Oh I know, you’re probably very committed to your family, but do you live in loving devotion to your husband and your children?
Delighted in Her Work
Ruth did not shrink back when the only way she would be able to provide for herself and her mother-in-law was to tie up her skirts and gather grain in the fields.
The excellent wife in Proverbs 31 can be found preparing meals, making investments, sewing clothes, and generally doing all those things that we say we want to do but never actually get around to accomplishing.
Proverbs 31:27 says the virtuous woman’s husband praises her because “she watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
How well do you delight in serving your husband—and your family? Are you joyful when you clean the house, pick up the dry-cleaning, or make a meal? Or do you grumble when you have to clean—as though it is some big surprise to you the house got dirty again?
Are you constantly distracted by social media so you neglect your daily tasks? Can your husband and children tell that they are truly the priorities of your life and that you take joy in caring for them?
Dependence on God
The next shining quality Boaz recognized in Ruth was her dependence on God. Boaz observed it was “the LORD God of Israel, under whose wings Ruth took refuge” (Ruth 2:12).
One great source of security for a godly man
is to know his wife is seeking the Lord
as she goes about her day.
Whether you are working outside the home or managing your household, if your husband knows you are living in full dependence upon God, he can rest assured your choices will be honoring to the Lord.
With that assurance, your husband’s heart can safely trust you, as did the man married to the Proverbs 31 woman (Proverbs 31:11). And when a husband can trust in his wife, adoration is a natural response.
Dedicated to Godly Speech
The next important quality that will make you the apple of your husband’s eye is being dedicated to godly speech. Proverbs 31:26 says, “She opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness.”
Lastly, your husband wants—in fact, he needs—you to be proud of him, and to always have his back. Proverbs 31:12 says an excellent wife “does [her husband] good, not evil all the days of his life.”
If you make a constant effort to be your husband’s friend and confidant, he will view your worth as being “far above rubies” (Proverbs 31:1) because he will know he can trust you. And a man who treasures his wife will treat her like a treasure.*
FOR MORE LISTEN to this excerpt of Rhonda Stoppe teaching: Finding Your Worth In Christ Please attach this link: https://soundcloud.com/rhondastoppe/chapter-6-find-your-worth-in-christ-stoppe
*Excerpt: Stoppe, If My Husband Would Change I’d Be Happy (Harvest House Publishers).Please attach this link: http://www.rhondastoppe.com/if-my-husband-would-change-id-be-happy-and-other-myths-wives-believe/
Rhonda Stoppe is the NO REGRETS WOMAN. With more than 30 years experience of helping women live life with no regrets.
Rhonda Stoppe’s book MOMS RAISING SONS TO BE MEN is mentoring thousands of moms to guide sons toward a no-regrets life. Her new book IF MY HUSBAND WOULD CHANGE I’D BE HAPPY-And Other Myths Wives Believe (Harvest House Publishers) is helping countless women build no-regrets marriages. As a pastor’s wife, speaker, and author, Rhonda has helped women to:
- Discover significance and
LISTEN TO THIS RADIO EXCERPT of Rhonda Stoppe on “The Road Show” with Host Laurette Willis: “Exchanging Your Dreams for God’s Plans”