Living up to the expectations that my husband has for me has been one of the biggest challenges for me in my married life.
Let me explain…
My husband and I had two very different upbringings. He came from the typical beaver clever family. His mom and dad were involved with every activity and school program. His mom was the home room mom, volunteer, and headed up the PTA. My husband was raised by a mom and dad who went above and beyond in every way possible to be involved with their kids.
And well uh……my childhood…..was a bit different…my parents divorced when I was two and this forced my mom to go to work to support me along with my two brothers ages six months and four. Growing up we were not involved in a lot of activities because we simply couldnʼt afford them along with my mom being exhausted after a long day at work and as a single mom.
With being raised primarily by my single mom, my view point on what I value to be the most important is different from my husband Bill. Studies show that you become what has been modeled for you. Our models were two very different ones and my husband and I donʼt always understand each others perspective. After talking to a few of my girlfriends I realized that they too felt like their husbands were the opposite of them…I came to the conclusion that the Lord brings people who are opposite together to bring balance.
For example, my husband Bill has become extremely active in every thing that our kids are involved in and it becomes his priority. He volunteers to not only be the coach on
the soccer team but also signs up to be on the committee of the soccer team. When it comes to sports he is the go to man. I on the other hand am much more laid back about making those activities a priority. I am doing good to keep up with the laundry, have dinner cooked, work on the kids school work, and any other side job that I am working on. I have four kids and I try to balance each of their needs and I sometimes forget to have fun!
Thankfully my kids donʼt miss out because their dad is Mr.Fun!! Being the opposite of my husband is not a bad thing because I need to learn to have more fun and he needs to
mellow out a little on being Mr.Volunteer. In the end I am sure my husband is puzzled sometimes on why I am not exactly like his mother was and I sometimes wonder why he has to be overly involved. But in the end we have learned to not have expectations on each other in our marriage but to have grace towards each other and give our expectations to the Lord.
The Lord knows most of all where we come from and He is the only one who can meet all of our expectations. Remember when your spouse doesn’t seem to be all that you
need him/her to be…donʼt come down hard on them, this will just push the other one away (not like Iʼm speaking from experience or anything!!) It is possible that you have
two different perspectives because you may have had two very different upbringings.
Challenge… Do you feel like your spouse is not living up to the expectations that you have for them. Expectations will only cause added pressure on your marriage! Ask your Heavenly Father to meet your needs and expectations and He will help bring the perfect balance in your home and family life.