Trusting God with an

Untrustworthy Husband

by Shauna Wallace

 

So, what does the bible say about trusting your husband, and what does the bible say about a lying husband, you might be asking.

I read about a husband who lied to cover his own hide and left his wife totally exposed to a bigamist’s advances. Infuriating is one word that comes time mind, along with a question: what do we do when our husband’s choices put us in vulnerable situations?

This wasn’t a tabloid story. It’s in the Bible, and it’s reality-TV-worthy scandalous stuff!

After God calls Abraham to leave his country and family to become the father of many nations and patriarch of the family of God, Abraham boldly obeys and hits the trail. When he comes to Gerar, he fears for his life because of the beauty of his wife, Sarah, thinking, “Surely the fear of God is not in this place, and they will kill me on account of my wife.” (Genesis 20:11 NKJV)

So he lies and tells Abimelech, king of Gerar, that Sarah is his sister. Naturally, the king takes Sarah with all intention to make her his wife.

I’ll give you a moment because…

 

…I’m still steaming!

Can you imagine if your husband were to lie to protect himself, and as a result, you are taken by a total stranger to be his wife, and likely one of many? Because your husband is selfishly concerned for his own life, he sets you up to be the one to suffer.

Doesn’t this happen in marriages all the time? (And listen, it can go both ways. We as wives can be just as selfishly dishonest, manipulative, and destructive.)

So can we trust God to take care of us when our husbands aren’t? Will He protect us and act in our best interest when our husbands aren’t? Because… honestly, isn’t that one of the most common reasons we become controlling and manipulative, whiny and nagging, is because we don’t trust God to move on our behalf, so we take things into our own hands?

I pray none of us misses what God does for Sarah, and because He does it for her, we can trust Him to do it for us. As wives can take great comfort in the covering of the Lord!

Even if our husbands are doing nothing, God can do anything, and if our husbands are doing wrong things, we can trust God to make everything right.

Watch what happens.

God appears to Abimelech in a dream in verse 3, and says, “Indeed you are a dead man because of the woman whom you have taken, for she is a man’s wife.”

Abimelech defends his innocence, insisting he had no idea because guess what? Sarah lied to cover Abraham’s hide, too! She went along with his scheme, and still, God has her back.

In his defense, Abimelech lets God know Sarah herself claimed Abraham as her brother, insisting, “In the integrity of my heart and innocence of my hands I have done this.” (Genesis 20:5 NKJV) Thankfully, he had not yet come near her, and in verse 6, we learn why: “For I (God) also withheld you from sinning against Me; therefore I did not let you touch her.”

God withheld evil from Sarah when her husband would not.

If your husband acts in a way that leaves you insecure and vulnerable, God sees you. God sees Him.

As God’s child, you are first and foremost His before you are your husband’s, and as your defender and shield, He is always watching over you and moving in people and circumstances on your behalf.

Imagine Sarah. Taken. She knows why. She knows what’s coming. This stranger is going to consummate the marriage with whom he sees as a legitimate wife. Sarah doesn’t know God is restraining him. She has no idea what God is doing behind the scenes in the man’s dreams.

How would you feel? Vulnerable? Exposed? Unprotected? Angry? Scared? Maybe a little like you do now when you see your husband making decisions that could have significant ramifications on your marriage, children, finances, home, security, etc.?

Can I encourage you to trust God? He can show up even in dreams and withhold others from sinning against Him by harming us.

Don’t miss this. If the king had slept with Sarah, his sin would have been against God, and God protected him because of his innocence. The king was innocent, not Abraham. Had Abimelech violated Sarah, he would have done so under the deceit of her husband, and God protected this innocent man from sinning against Himself, all the while protecting Sarah.

God will do the same for you.

You can trust Him.

He is trustworthy.

 

Much love and many blessings,

 

Shauna

 

 

Women are drawn to Shauna’s teaching and Bible studies because of her in-depth yet conversational and practical approach to scripture’s truths as they apply to the nitty-gritty of daily life. The more she studies the Bible, the greater her grasp of God’s grace and love and the deeper her passion to see others experience the power and freedom of surrendering entirely to Him. She is a wife, mother, and working woman who gladly and transparently connects with women wherever they are by sharing the good, bad, and challenging of her life story, past, and present. Learn more at www.shaunawallace.com.

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8 thoughts on “Trusting God with an Untrustworthy Husband”

  1. Charlina Daitouah

    Amen! This post is such a blessing to me today. Thank you.

    1. The Laundry Moms

      Oh so glad Charlina!

  2. Katie

    Then how do you explain affairs, pornography addictions, and the lies and betrayal that goes with them? God will not always protect you from your husband’s sinful choices. I would say that it is rare for God to jump in and stop people from sinning in the way He did in this Biblical account. God usually let’s people make their choices and then live with consequences, and unfortunately, we the wives also have to live with the consequences. I think this post gives a pretty unrealistic and simplistic explanation about why you can trust God.

    1. The Laundry Moms

      Katie, you’re correct… other peoples actions can also be very hurtful to those closest to them due to the consequences of their choices. I also know based on Deuteronomy 31:6 where the Word says, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” And therefore God will not leave us during those hard seasons and we can trust Him to be there in the midst of the challenges even when it seems hopeless we can have faith that He will see us through. I pray no matter what you might be walking through, you find hope in His promises… He is faithful!

  3. Hannah

    Let me give you and example of where I’m at, if dealt with all the things with my husband, all the things..If I didn’t trust in Yah we wouldn’t be this far..Yah will be with me regardless. There comes a point when Yah says enough and then that’s when we have to do what’s best for our children and us. Living in denial and trauma non stop is not biblical.. living in fear and insecurity because of someone else’s careless decisions is not biblical. I have faith that Yah can get us through anything but I know he doesn’t want us to live in constant turmoil, at some point manipulation, control, deceit and lies can’t be tolerated. Yah didn’t make us for that.

    1. The Laundry Moms

      Oh, Hannah …Praying for you and your family, and for God to give wisdom and direct your steps! ~Angela

  4. Cindy Williams

    Thank you for your comments on Abraham, Sarah and Abimelech

    I have felt such guilt… like I’m the only Christian woman in the world struggling with the vulnerabilities my “Christian” husband leaves me feeling

    I’ve searched for ways to be more Christ-like..in my conversations and dealings with him

    He’s truly just a manipulative liar on so many levels

    I understand more fully from your comments…that God sees his behavior and will hold him accountable

    In the meantime…I’m going to pray for inner peace and thank God for the bits of stability I have been able to maintain

    Thank you so much much..again and again

    1. The Laundry Moms

      So glad this was a blessing to you, Cindy! xo-Angela

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