Sex Before Marriage – Shaking the Guilt Pt 2

Sex Before Marriage – Shaking the Guilt Pt 2

By Rhonda Stoppe


Christian women often get stuck thinking about how they sinned sexually before marriage. I find it interesting how Satan seduces a woman to sin in this area of sexual impurity, then turns his wicked finger on her and tells her how shameful she is for doing so.

The next time you hear those cruel whispers from the enemy remember “you are wrestling not against flesh and blood but…against spiritual wickedness” (see Ephesians 6:12). If you have received Christ as your Lord and Savior then Jesus washed your sins away, and Jesus is the one who can give you victory over those destructive thoughts.  How, you ask? In Zechariah 4:6 God answers:

Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the LORD of hosts.

Without a relationship with Christ, it is impossible to be set free from any guilt that plagues us. If you have never surrendered to Jesus as your Lord and Savior and would like to know more, contact me through my website, NoRegretsWoman.com to request a copy of the article: How To Have A Relationship with Jesus.

To those who are in Christ; by God’s strength, through prayer, and by the power of the Word of God you can be set free from Satan’s lies. You really can! ’ve seen it over-and- over again in the lives of the women to whom I have ministered.


  • Memorize Scripture that speaks Truth against the enemy’s deception.
  • Be ready to take your thoughts captive with Truth (see 2 Corinthians 10:5)
  • Speak aloud the Scriptures you have memorized when the enemy attacks
  • Play worship music and sing aloud praises to the Lord when you are battling the enemy’s lies
  • Read the Bible. This will help you to learn God’s character so that you can know how deeply, and completely He washes away the sins of those who are repentant.


To see how God’s Word speaks to one struggling with guilt, here is an excerpt from my book: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Great Sex in Marriage

If you are one who has a struggle in this area here is one Bible story that shows the depth of God’s forgiveness. May I present to you the defenses star witness––Bathsheba. Remember her? She was the woman who had sex with King David, while she was married to Uriah.

As the story goes, when Bathsheba turned up pregnant with David’s baby, David sent Uriah to die in battle. Then, David took Bathsheba to be his wife. All the while, the two of them had this big dark secret that they kept hidden for nearly a year––a year! – before Nathan the prophet confronted David with his sin. (If you do not know the story of David and Bathsheba you can read it in 2 Samuel 11-12.)

So, what’s the point of retelling the story of Bathsheba’s sinful past? Only that God, who is rich in mercy, forgave her shameful sin. In fact, God forgave her so completely that after David repented, God granted Bathsheba to become pregnant with David’s son, Solomon.

Of all the wives of David (which is a topic for another discussion), and of all of David’s children, God chose to grant Bathsheba the honor of becoming the mother of the next great King in Israel, King Solomon.

You see, when God forgives He forgives to the upmost. He doesn’t throw our sins in our faces. Because of past sins, He doesn’t discount the rest of our lives for service to Him.

In Psalms 103:12 we discover this incredible truth about God’s forgiveness;

As far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us.

East from west––why did the Bible not say, north from south? Get this now––because you can travel east all day long and never meet west. However, if you were to travel north, you would eventually meet south. Get it?

God stated He removes our sins east from west, because they will NEVER meet. He will NEVER throw them in our faces again! *

If you are feeling shame because you are guilty of sexual sins in your past, today is the day to seek the Lord’s forgiveness, and then believe that in Christ allyour sins are washed away. The Bible makes this wonderful promise:

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

I John 1:9

To help you learn more about God’s forgiveness, and to believe He has truly washed away your sins, seek out an older, godly woman in your church to mentor you––and to pray with you.

If you have been holding onto these shameful thoughts for any length of time, it may prove profitable for you to seek out a godly counselor to help you get God’s perspective, and help you obtain once for all victory over shameful thoughts that may have a grip on your mind––and your marriage. **

*Taken from Rhonda Stoppe’s book: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Great Sex in Marriage

To find a biblical counselor in your area visit: Association of Certified Biblical Counselors.

**Rhonda Stoppe offers insights from a biblical perspective to help women build a NO REGRETS LIFE. She is not a licensed therapist. For professional help, please seek a biblical counselor–search: ACBC.


*Please note that abuse is a different story, and if you or your children are in a situation where abuse is involved please contact the center for women and children to get help now!

RhondaStoppeRhonda Stoppe, the No Regrets Woman, has mentored women for more than two decades. Steve Stoppe has pastored First Baptist Church, Patterson, California, for 19. After 37 years of marriage, they’re still head-over-heels and ready to share their secrets to building a no-regrets marriage. They’ve appeared on Focus on the Family and together write books, speak at marriage conferences and rescue troubled ministry marriages at their ranch in Northern California. They have four happily married children and ten grandchildren. To invite Steve & Rhonda to speak at your next event, and for more resources & videos, follow their social media links and connect with the Stoppe’s at NoRegretsWoman.com.

Rhonda is the author of 6 books and appears on numerous radio programs including FamilyTalk, Focus on the Family, Family Life Today and hosts The No Regrets Hour. She speaks at women’s events, Pastor’s Wives Conferences, MOPs and homeschool conventions. Sharing the gospel is her sweet spot––she’s an evangelist at heart.

Bonus: Watch this fun video of Steve & Rhonda sharing their own love story.

Connect with Rhonda: FaceBook: Rhonda Stoppe No Regrets Woman Instagram: @RhondaStoppe Twitter: @RhondaStoppe Newsletter: NoRegretsWoman.com

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