By Drenda Keesee
It’s the silent voice that tries to tell us what to do, what to think, and how to feel about ourselves and the people we love.
Unchecked, insecurity becomes a PRISON around us…
Thoughts can haunt us!
→ Do people think I’m weird?
→ Am I lovable?
→ Am I capable?
→ Do I need to lose weight?
→ Have I made too many mistakes?
→ Can I really do this?
→ Am I pretty enough?
→ Am I a failure?
Tormenting thoughts begin to swell in our minds, and we can become paralyzed beneath the pressure.
Our perception of reality can actually be changed by these thoughts!
When we tolerate insecurities, we start bouncing our identities off of the people and media around us, looking for something to confirm or deny our inner fears…
Did anyone compliment my outfit today? Am I as pretty as that movie star? Did she say she was busy because she didn’t want to hang out with me?
Satan will put people, media, and situations in our lives to discourage us and feed those insecurities.
“The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” —Steven Furtick
Insecurities can cause us to:
- Use manipulation to get attention and affirmation
- Become easily offended and overreact to situations
- Battle depression, fear, and hopelessness
- Withdraw from the people we love
- Beat ourselves up over small mistakes
- Give up on ourselves
- Become possessive of the people we love
My friend, insecurities will set you up for an emotional roller coaster!
In the early years of Gary’s and my marriage, my insecurities caused me to doubt Gary’s love for me. I kept waiting for him to hurt me like the men in my past had, because deep down, I didn’t feel lovable.
I was always waiting for the catch…
One night, I locked myself in our bathroom, crying.
“Drenda, I don’t know what to do,” Gary said on the other side of the door. I could hear the desperation in his voice as he began to cry. “I just can’t get through to you! When are you going to realize that I’m not those men that hurt you? I love you, and I’m not going to leave.”
It took those words to finally break down the wall of insecurity I was hiding behind.
Before that night, I never realized that I had been FILTERING Gary’s words and actions through MY insecurities!
If we tolerate insecurity, it’s like a weed that chokes out our hope, happiness, and trust in the people around us.
When we water insecurity, it grows!
When Insecurity Knocks
So what do you do when insecurity comes knocking at your door?
How do you shut down the seeds of self-doubt before they blossom into paralyzing uncertainty?
Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV) say, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
So first, we’re instructed to PRAY.
If we feel insecurity beginning to grab ahold of us, we need to turn to God and ask Him for His help in the situation. We need to pray for the grace to walk in confidence.
Philippians 4:8 goes on to say, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
The second thing we’re called to do is to change what we’re LOOKING at!
If you are battling an insecurity, you need to adamantly shut down the voices and images speaking that into your life. If you feel bad about your body or looks, stop spending hours browsing through photos of Instagram models and movie stars in tabloid magazines. Start putting your focus on things that are going to encourage you instead!
Did you know that God put everything in you that you need for your destiny? With Him, you are lacking nothing, able to do impossible things!
“No one is you, and that is your power.” —Anonymous
When negative thoughts start to rise up in you, challenge them with the Word of God.
Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
God put great thought into every detail of your being, and it grieves Him when we find fault with His creation. God’s love for you is perfect, and He sees the potential He’s put in you. You were created with a purpose. You were FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made. God made you, and He doesn’t make mistakes!
Listen in Now to Faith Life Church!
Drenda Keesee’s contagious zeal and humorous personal experiences help make her ministry of spiritual, emotional and relational wholeness one that will bless your life and spark a new fire in your spirit.
A wife of over 30 years and a mother of five children, Drenda has ministered at churches, seminars, and conferences, and through the mediums of television and radio, for more than 20 years.
Her books, The New Vintage Family, Better Than You Think, and She Gets It are available wherever books are sold. In these heartfelt books, Drenda shares her personal journey and the life lessons that have brought her to where she is today, as well as practical answers that all people need to live a joyful life.
Drenda and her husband Gary founded Faith Life Now, a ministry designed to spread the message of freedom in the areas of finances, faith, marriage, and family. Tune in for their weekly messages here. Faith Life Now hosts conferences worldwide, and sponsors both Fixing the Money Thing, which Drenda co-hosts with her husband Gary, and Drenda.
Through their own life experiences, the Keesees have found the principles from God’s Word to be powerful and effective. At one point, Drenda was a young, suicidal feminist with no hope of ever being “good enough” for her own standards of perfection. She never wanted the “inconvenience” of a husband or children, and she was on her own path to success. But the stress of trying to achieve perfection and perform for love left her broken and used. She had success, but it was nothing compared to the pain and loneliness it had also brought.
That’s when God got a hold of her heart. It was there—at her lowest point—that she found the One who accepted and loved her, faults and all. Since that transformation, Drenda has had a passion to reach women who find themselves where she once was.
She married Gary after attending college, and there she found herself in a personal boot camp of sorts. She says, “I cried and told God, ‘I can do anything but be a wife and mother.’” She committed to learning how to do it God’s way. Through the many years of raising their children and struggling to make ends meet, Drenda learned from their mistakes. “I didn’t know how to be a wife and mother, but God saved our marriage, taught us how to parent our children for success, showed us how to have financial success, and then irony of all ironies, He called us to ministry.” It’s truly because of these life experiences that Drenda can now share so many insightful principles for people who are now going through the same struggles.