“Old Ladies Know Stuff”
-Learning from Titus 2 Women-
by Rhonda Stoppe
Old Ladies know stuff – We really do! As I write this article I am a month away from turning 53 years old. My kids are all grown and I am a grandmother–which I am afraid has become an obsessive compulsive disorder as I baby-stalk photos of my grandkids on social media, and shamelessly share them with whomever I meet!
I remember when I was a young mom, I would look at the older women I knew and think, “They’ve got it all together. How could they possibly understand how much I am struggling?”
Due to the fear of being judged for not measuring up to what I thought a good mother was I wasted a lot of time pretending I had it all together. Sadly, I missed out on guidance from older women.
After spending several years getting advice from my young mommy friends, I realized…
…it was time to get parenting instruction from older women. Women who not only had survived this thing called motherhood, but actually enjoyed it.
There is a mandate in Titus 2:4 for the older women to train the young women to love their husbands and children. My mother-in-law had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and my own mother was going through a particularly difficult season, so I turned to the women in my church to find Titus 2 women.
When I finally made myself vulnerable and reached out to older women for help, I found they were delighted to come along side of me. Rather than judging me this is what they told me:
“We’ve made mistakes from which we have learned. If you will listen to our advice, we hope to help you not make the same mistakes.
We realize how quickly the days of raising our little ones have gone by and we want to teach you to TREASURE THESE TIMES rather than just “survive them”.
Making themselves vulnerable, these older mentors shared: “We have cried tears over PRODIGALS, and we want to hold your hand and pray for you if ever you cry over yours.
We have been humbled by our trials, and of our arrogant and judgmental ways. We want to train you to walk in humility, because we have learned God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble (1 Peter 5:5).
These precious older women had seen prayers answered, and offered to teach me to pray effectively.
Over the past 30 years I have watched these lovely women grow older. Their faces shine as their inner beauty shines gloriously. Through their example they have taught me that godly women become more beautiful over time.
One of my mentors, Gayle, came along side of me when I was a young mom. Gayle’s granddaughter recently gave birth to a son. (That makes her a great grandmother now!) Gayle sent a copy of my book, Moms Raising Sons to Be Men, to her granddaughter, who responded by saying, “Oh Grandma, this is exactly what I needed. I have been looking for something like this.”
Do you see how it works ladies? An older woman mentors me, I in turn mentor her granddaughter (the next generation). There is a PLAN–God’s PLAN–to equip, prepare and train the women HE is calling to represent HIM in their generation.
Younger women–find a godly mentor. The relationship you build with that older woman may be a rock for you for the rest of your life! And remember there is always someone younger than you, just behind you in raising children, who could use your insights and encouragement. You are never too young to be a Titus 2 woman!
Older women–be a godly mentor. It’s not “your time” to do whatever you want. You are an important piece of this Master’s plan. Won’t you INVEST YOUR LIFE in younger women? It will be the greatest gift you give yourself, not to mention a generation who is desperate for godly mentors. One day you will look back with NO REGRETS over how you spent your life. And in eternity standing before the throne, maybe with those whom you mentored by your side, you will certainly hear, “Well done good and faithful servant.”