My Top Burnout Busters
by Drenda Keesee
If there’s one message God has really been hitting home for me this year, it’s the importance of rest and self-care.
The first quarter of 2017, Gary’s and my schedule were packed with overseas conferences, speaking engagements, and nonstop travel. The one thing we forgot to schedule was REST, and at the end of that quarter, both of us were jet-lagged and exhausted. I realized we were on a fast track to burnout. Many friends in ministry had urged us to take a sabbatical, but for some reason or another, every year we cancelled, downsized, or scheduled over it.
The sad thing was we thought we were doing the right thing! It can feel like giving, giving, giving is the best thing you can do for the people around you, but unless you’re also taking the time to receive, you can actually end up hurting yourself and them more in the long run!
“Life is a marathon, not a sprint; pace yourself accordingly.” —Andy Burfoot
Gary and I finally took a…
…month-long sabbatical in June, and that time of rest and listening to God was one of the greatest choices we’ve ever made. That month break enabled us to help people in a much greater way than we ever could have before when we were trudging along exhausted.
God’s plan for you is to give from a place of wholeness, not from burnout. So here are five ways you can start practicing self-care in your life and jump-start your dreams again!
1. Verbalize your needs.
When a person struggles to practice self-care, one of the first things they put on the back burner is communicating their needs to the people around them. You have to be the one to draw boundaries in your life and time—nobody can do it for you!
This may be as simple as asking your husband to keep the kids for an hour while you take a bath, or it could mean having a more in-depth conversation about the changes you need to be at your best.
Your needs are important, and unless you communicate them clearly, you can’t expect anyone to anticipate what they are or realize they’re going unmet.
Sometimes we have to have those hard conversations in order to stay obedient to God’s will for our lives.
2. Create a positive environment.
Spending your time in a negative or cluttered environment can spur feelings of being overwhelmed and frustrated. Managing your stress and morale is one of the biggest components of taking care of your needs! Before you start your workday, prepare for productivity. Get organized, grab a glass of water, or even light a candle. If you’re going to be home all day, why not try making your bed first thing in the morning?
“If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed.”
-Admiral William H. McRaven
U.S. Navy Seal, Admiral William H. McRaven gave this advice to a graduating class. “If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed. If you make your bed every morning, you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do another task, and another, and another. And by the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed.”
There are so many ways you can set the environment for a great day! It can help to grab a pen and paper and mentally unload everything you need to do throughout your day. This can range from small tasks, like buying milk, to big tasks and deadlines.
Try it out! Create a productive, positive environment at the beginning of your morning and watch it send a ripple effect through the rest of your day.
3. Get a good night’s sleep.
Too often we undervalue the role sleep plays in our emotional and mental health. E. Joseph Cossman said, “The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night’s sleep.” It’s true! When we are hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, we tend to make bad decisions. The best way we can keep ourselves energized and emotionally ready for the day is to ensure we are getting seven to eight hours of good sleep.
Improve your sleep by exercising during the day, avoiding electronics before bed, and going to bed early enough to get all of the sleep you need before it’s time to get up and go again.
4. Clean out toxic relationships.
Practicing self-love may also mean drawing the line on toxic relationships in your life that are taking your time, your joy, and your resources. That’s okay! I love this advice from author Cheryl Richardson:
“If you want to live an authentic, meaningful life, you need to master the art of disappointing and upsetting others . . . living with the reality that some people just won’t like you. It may not be easy, but it’s essential if you want your life to reflect your deepest desires, values, and needs.”
Of course, our goal is not to upset or disappoint anyone, but we have to come to terms with the fact that we can’t make everyone happy all of the time. God never asked us to!
Galatians 1:10 says, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
If we try to perform for the approval of toxic friends, it will ultimately pull us away from God’s will for our lives!
5. Take a break when you need it.
If you need a break, don’t feel guilty about taking it! You can only put your needs on hold for so long before it starts to affect your emotional, mental, and even physical well-being. If today you feel overworked, stressed, or depressed, put some downtime on your calendar to spend time with God.
Even Jesus, who was perfect, took the time to get away and talk to God. So why would we be any different?
I know it can feel like giving a priority to your needs is selfish, but remember, life is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s important to stop and ensure you’re practicing the kind of self-care that is going to keep you on your God-given assignment for years to come. And when the people in your life ask you for the same favor, then you will be in a place of wholeness to show them the same support!
ps…Are you looking for a good church? Be sure and listen on Saturday evening or catch the 3 services on Sunday for Faith Life Church!
Drenda Keesee’s contagious zeal and humorous personal experiences help make her ministry of spiritual, emotional, and relational wholeness one that will bless your life and spark a new fire in your spirit.
A wife of over 30 years and a mother of five children, Drenda has ministered at churches, seminars, and conferences, and through the mediums of television and radio, for more than 20 years.
Her books, The New Vintage Family, Better Than You Think, and She Gets It are available wherever books are sold. In these heartfelt books, Drenda shares her personal journey and the life lessons that have brought her to where she is today, as well as practical answers that all people need to live a joyful life.
Drenda and her husband Gary founded Faith Life Now, a ministry designed to spread the message of freedom in the areas of finances, faith, marriage, and family. Tune in for their weekly messages here. Faith Life Now hosts conferences worldwide and sponsors both Fixing the Money Thing, which Drenda co-hosts with her husband Gary and Drenda.
Through their own life experiences, the Keesee’s have found the principles from God’s Word to be powerful and effective. At one point, Drenda was a young, suicidal feminist with no hope of ever being “good enough” for her own standards of perfection. She never wanted the “inconvenience” of a husband or children, and she was on her own path to success. But the stress of trying to achieve perfection and perform for love left her broken and used. She had success, but it was nothing compared to the pain and loneliness it had also brought.
That’s when God got a hold of her heart. It was there—at her lowest point—that she found the One who accepted and loved her, faults and all. Since that transformation, Drenda has had a passion to reach women who find themselves where she once was.
She married Gary after attending college, and there she found herself in a personal boot camp of sorts. She says, “I cried and told God, ‘I can do anything but be a wife and mother.’” She committed to learning how to do it God’s way. Through the many years of raising their children and struggling to make ends meet, Drenda learned from their mistakes. “I didn’t know how to be a wife and mother, but God saved our marriage, taught us how to parent our children for success, showed us how to have financial success, and then the irony of all ironies, He called us to ministry.” It’s truly because of these life experiences that Drenda can now share so many insightful principles for people who are now going through the same struggles.