I walked down the aisle smiling at friends and family before turning my attention to my waiting husband to be. Feelings of joy and happiness overwhelmed me and I saw my future wedded bliss before me.
We went on a cruise for our honeymoon and it was idyllic; blue waters, expanses of ocean, tropical islands, pure bliss and relaxation, but it only takes a shift in the wind or a darkening of the sky to suddenly feel small and vulnerable. That wonderful floating hotel feels anything but idyllic as it rolls on a stormy sea.
Marriage is…
just like that ship. As we commit to each other before God, knowing and celebrating that he has brought us to our Mr. Right life feels idyllic. We forget that Mr. Right is not the same thing as Mr. Perfect. Sometimes as we settle into marriage storm clouds gather and we feel like we’re rolling on a stormy sea. Our idyllic marriage suddenly feels vulnerable.
There are many verses in the Bible about love and commitment, and wonderful poetry that is often used for weddings. We didn’t have any of these. Early on in the planning God gave us a piece of scripture that would reflect the reality of marriage and we used these verses in our wedding vows;
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity”
Colossians 3:12-14 NIV
Marriage is the coming together of two imperfect people who fall in love in an imperfect world, and commit to each other before a perfect God.
Love is the glue that binds us together, but love on it’s own isn’t enough. The strengthener is a conscious decision and exercising an act of will to be kind, compassionate, patient and to bear with each other.
Your husband is not perfect and neither are you. There are always going to be things that rock the boat, that make you irritated with each other.
God goes on to say in verse 15 of Colossians 3, that we should let peace rule and be thankful and again in verse 17 we are told to give thanks.
When your husband leaves his dirty socks on the floor, pick them up and be thankful that he did however unload the dishwasher. When he treads muddy shoes through the house be thankful that he has been out at work all day to provide for the family.
When he is too tired to have a real heart to heart, be thankful he’s not too tired to hold you.
There are a thousand tiny ways in which the imperfect person God has given us can irritate us but, there are equally a thousand tiny things that we can be thankful for.
We are God’s chosen people and we choose to clothe ourselves with the character of Jesus.
Marriage may not be plain sailing but the odd storm does not ruin the journey.
Tania Vaughan heads Let’s Talk About Ministries, encouraging and supporting women through Bible studies, teaching and mentoring. Passionate about seeing women grow in their relationship with Christ she believes that every woman can live the full life that Jesus promised and is committed to seeing that potential released. You can find out more about Tania and the ministry at www.taniavaughan.com
