How to Tell if it’s Love or Lust

Let’s get naked; passionately love me, but don’t lust me. The difference between love and lust must be addressed before clothes start flying. Love is so much richer than lust. Love satisfies. Love gives. Love cherishes. Love puts the desires of the other first. Love forgives. Love waits. Love protects. Love never fails. Love covers a multitude of sins. Love binds a marriage together. Love makes great sex!

Pure lust, however, is different from passionate love. Lust hurries. Lust pushes. Lust steals. Lust fumes. Lust wanders. Lust tears down. Lust begrudges. Lust destroys. Lust provokes. Lust always wants more. Lust has no place in the bedroom. Lust leaves one empty.

Passionate sex filled with love between a husband and wife satisfies beyond the moment. And isn’t that what everyone is seeking? Rich contentment in life? Passionate love waters the soul of a married couple.

Said another way…

…the physical satisfaction of passionate love pours over and waters the soul of a married couple. Not to mention it’s pleasing to the One who created it. It makes God smile! 🙂 However, passionate sex driven by lust without love may feel good physically in the moment, but it leaves both participants empty, even lonely. Which do you want? Complete satisfaction and oneness with your man, or fleeting pleasure and loneliness? Think about it.

I realize that lust is probably more of an issue for your husband than you, but you can show your husband how love feels. Show him, passionate love, when you touch him the way he wants to be touched. If he is the one always pursuing and you’re not actively hungry for him and willing to explore unexplored territories, he will be left wanting. There are more than two positions for sex, friends, and many different places to kiss. Make sure you’re exploring new territory. Consider that your husband is wired differently in his desires. Put his desires before yours, and you will find yourself satisfied, too. Your actions will show him love, and he will, in turn, want to please you. It’s a beautiful circle. You take the initiative to stir the love in your marriage. Don’t wait for him to begin first.

Besides showing him how to love you, help him rise to the occasion by speaking things to him as though they were. For instance, tell him you love his body even though it’s not exactly the same body you married. You’re wanting the same grace, remember? Whisper to him that he makes you the happiest girl in the world…and he will strive to live up to that. Utter edifying words that make him stand up straighter. You’ve probably heard the scripture, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” Proverbs 14:1 (NIV) Be a wise woman and build the house of your marriage with the words you speak about and to your husband, and show him love by the way you interact with him naked.

Now for the Magic Potions:

Ok, they are not really MAGIC potions, but they certainly enhance!! I can confidently say that when emotional intimacy is present between a husband and wife, adding these therapeutic essential oils CAN be magic! In my opinion, the mystery of how a husband and wife fit together so perfectly with little feel-good happy spots in place is a supernatural – above and beyond magic – a gift from God. So these recipes just make sex super duper, supernatural amazing like magic! Got it?

Are you ready for the magic? I mean recipes. Let’s go!

Check Out That Monument – Goldenrod

The name of this oil makes me blush. Let’s just say it lives up to its name. If erectile dysfunction is an issue for your husband, then rub goldenrod on the soles of his feet or on his man parts each night before bed. Goldenrod helps with blood flow in the body, which happens to benefit his man part. The smell of goldenrod is hmmm…unusual, so use this opportunity to add some other manly oils to make a blend. Then apply to your man’s feet nightly. Mister and/or Shutran would be a nice addition to goldenrod and, of course, V6 massage oil. It may take a few weeks or so for your husband to notice a difference, but then again he may notice the first night. You won’t know until you try. This oil could be a game changer in your bedroom.

Turn Up the Music! The Kids are Still Awake! – Ylang Ylang

Bring on the fun! The smell of Ylang Ylang is enticing! It calms nerves immediately, which is a MUST if the wife is going to engage!! If you are an ounce like me, you KNOW it’s quite a feat to unwind quickly after a long, frenzied day as a busy momma! It’s hard to switch roles from (sweet mommy voice to the children) “Mommy’s here! Let me help you!” to (sultry sexy voice to your husband) “Hot Momma’s here. Let me kiss you!”  Know what I mean? Sheesh! But if there was an on switch, it might be Ylang Ylang. Diffuse in the room at least 20 minutes before your husband joins you. Rub on your neck, wrists, and ankles, and let him find the smell. Enchanting!!

Here’s to a Happy New Year and Happy new Sex Life in 2026!

If you would like a private invite to the for ladies only Sex & Oils Facebook group …You can come in your pj’s in the privacy and comfort of your own home and learn more about having a healthy happy sex life with your husband! It’s G-rated and still chocked full of great information and tips!