Let’s Bring Sexy Back To Your Marriage Bed
By Rhonda Stoppe
Have your sexual encounters with your husband become a series of quickies? You know you should have sex but you’re just so tired, busy, or distracted all the time that sex just seems like one more thing to add to your to-do list.
You’re not alone, I would say the majority of married couples that my husband and I have mentored at one time or another have fallen into this category. Many wives will say they like sex when they take the time to enjoy it. But for most, life presses in, kids demand their time and attention, and sex just isn’t a priority.
So let’s look at some practical steps you can when you long for more than just obligatory sex…
KISS LIKE YOU MEAN IT!
Kiss your husband the way you kissed him when your love was young. When you see each other first thing in the morning, and again when you’re reunited at the end of the day, greet your man with a loving, tender kiss. Determine to make kissing a delightful routine for the rest of your lives.
Did you know kissing your husband in front of your children can actually give them a great sense of security? Even though your kids may roll their eyes, and exclaim “eeeewwwwww” when they see mommy and daddy kissing, your kind affection toward your husband tells your children, “Mommy and Daddy love each other. We are committed to one another. Your home is secure.”
For more insight on how loving your husband brings security to your kids, read this article I wrote called Groovy Kind of Love.
Caress him while you kiss him. Whether you put your hands on his face, run your fingers up and down his arm, or play with the hair on the back of his neck, touch him in a gentle way. Whoa now, I hear what you’re thinking…you’re concerned if you kiss him in anything other than a quick peck on the lips, he will expect you to take him to bed.
Most likely he will hope for sex to be the happy ending to a romantic smooch. And why shouldn’t this be his desire? You would do well to learn not to be irritated by his desire for you. (Truth be known, it’s not his desire for you that may irritate you, but rather the long list of chores you still have to accomplish before you can even think about getting into bed at night. Am I right?)
Though your husband may be oblivious to the many items on your late night to-do list, if you asked him what he would prefer you accomplish on any given evening, I’m willing to bet he would say having you save your energy to enjoy sex with him would be at the top of his to-do list.
Your husband longs to connect with you through intercourse. And it is God who gave your husband a deep desire to have his sexual longings met by you––his wife. In my book IF MY HUSBAND WOULD CHANGE I’D BE HAPPY-And Other Myths Wives Believe I make the following observation:
Most women understand men have a strong physical desire for sex. So why do wives make their husbands feel apologetic for wanting sex? I think one reason is because a women’s need for sexual intimacy is emotionally driven––we want to feel loved, desired, and beautiful. But when it seems as though a husband’s desire for sex is a mere physical urge, it becomes easy to wrongly assume he is acting selfishly and resent it. But what gets overlooked is the fact that a husband’s sense of well-being and confidence is very much wrapped up in the sexual intimacy he enjoys with his wife.[1]
Kiss him while you are having sex with him. Do you kiss your husband while you are in the middle of sexual passion? If not, try it. It is a delightful way to add an extra measure of intimacy to your sexual experience. And while you’re at it––look him in the eyes while you are having sex. Looking into each other’s eyes will seem to knit your very souls together and not just your bodies. Try it––I dare you.
For more insights to bring sexy back to your marriage bed download Rhonda’s short eBook:
A Christian Woman’s Guide to Great Sex in Marriage
Imagine if you had your own PERSONAL MENTOR to help you learn to enjoy sex in your marriage bed…Rhonda Stoppe is that mentor! With her honest, fun-loving manner, and from a biblical perspective in this short–to the point–book, you will feel as though Rhonda is sitting across from you over a cup of coffee to help you learn the secret to becoming the lover you had hoped you would be on the day you said “I do”.
Learning to enjoy sex with your man from the PRACTICAL insights in this book can help you:
– Discover ways to delight in sex in your marriage bed
– Find victory over whatever holds you back from enjoying sex with your husband
– Transform the intimacy you experience in your marriage relationship
– Build a NO REGRETS MARRIAGE that others will want to emulate
To Book Rhonda Stoppe for your next Women’s event visit: NoRegretsWoman.com
[1] Rhonda Stoppe, If My Husband Would Change I’d Be Happy, (Eugene, OR Harvest House Publishers, 2015) p 109.
