In the Mood?

Some wonder how my husband and I ever get a moment together as the parents of ten kids. Wherever we are the kids want to be. No conversation is as interesting as Mom and Dad’s. If we are in the kitchen, THEY are in the kitchen. If we are in the bathroom, they are in the bathroom.


Alone time is just flat challenging.


When my husband wants to get intimate his code to me is, “I want to TALK to you tonight.” I’m not sure how the word “TALK” became code, but it’s our word. (Well, it WAS until today.)


As you can imagine using such a common word can be confusing at times, so eye contact and tone inflection are always considered in the exchange.

Sex in Marriage, Marriage Bed, Parenting, Scheduling Spouse Time


Although, we tricked the kids for a while, the older ones caught on and now groans of disgust break out when one of us says, “I want to TALK” to the other. And this is unfortunate because sometimes I REALLY need to talk to my husband, not “TALK” to him.


I’ll say, “Honey, I need to talk to you tonight.”


Husband: “Oh good!”


Older kids: “Oooooh, gross!! Stop it.”


“No! Not that “TALK.” The other talk, we need to talk tonight about something important,” I say regardless of my true intentions.


Whether we need to talk or “TALK,” we shut and lock our bedroom door, and pray the kids don’t burn the house down. The other night we needed to talk, and I won’t tell you whether we were talking or “TALKING,” and you understand that NEED is the right word for either. We just needed to lock the door for a bit like parents do.


So the preparation looks like…


Me:“Let’s get everyone settled so they won’t notice we’re missing. You make sure the middle ones are bathed, I’ll read to the little ones, finish the kitchen, start a load of laundry, and then we can settle them in front of a movie. They’ll never notice we’re gone!!”


As you can see the effort involved makes getting ALONE a great effort, but because we’ve made it a game, we take the challenge often…However…



It is important to me that the kids NOT NOTICE we are missing, because even if we are talking with the door shut, they might think we are “TALKING” with the door shut and I am a good Baptist girl and it completely mortifies me that my kids or anyone else for that matter knows when we “TALK, TALK,” so I pretend we don’t EVER. It gets a little tricky with the pregnancies, however.


So what’s my point? I’m not sure…I just thought you would enjoy another peek into the life of a crazy, large family. I think, however, this will be the last code word I reveal, lest my honey and I have to write a whole new communication script for our sweet nothings.


Do you and your spouse have any code words? I would love to hear about it.


Laundry Mom Terri BoninLaundry Mom~Terri♥



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2 comments on “In the Mood?

  1. Leesa C says:

    I loved this article as it is so true that we do have time with our husbands alone for all sorts of talking. One point that I do disagree with is your point that your children never know that you are intimate with hubby. While I do not recommend discussions about the details, this is important as they should understand the “importantness” of this beautiful part of marriage. Books by the Farrels (Bill and Pam) such as Red, Hot Monogamy would agree that children NEED to know that parents have time together as God intended. This particular book notes her older teen son said he did not knock at the door figuring they might be having this time. She was pleased (even though that was not the case) that he thought of them as loving one another in that way. The authors have talked to their children about this special love that is only between hubby and wife and WORTH waiting for. If you children never think you are with your husband, why wait for their spouse? If you are embarrassed about it, why is it beautiful? Worth the wait? something to be cherished? Just something to think about… 🙂 Love and hugs to you and all of yours.

  2. It’s enorjous that you are getting thoughts from this paragraph as well as from our argument made at this place.

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