Imaginary Friends

The elementary school child stands outside the classroom door ANXIOUS on his first day of school A sweaty palm clasps the cold metal doorknob as questions flood:


Will they like me?


What if I’m the only one in clothes like this?


What if EVERYONE is buying lunch and I’m the only one with a lunch box?


What if I don’t know the answers?


Fears, doubts, and self-insecurities creep through the child’s brain. Trembling for a brief moment the young one remembers his mother’s counsel…



“Ask William the Wizard, to help you. He’ll tell you what to do. He knows the answers and will guide you.”


The new imaginary friend encourages him to walk through the door on this morning and assures him that that everything will be fine. William the Wizard gives similar advice the child’s mother gives, at least for now.


Wiz, as the boy calls him, guides, relaxes, calms and helps the child reach deep inside his inner self for instruction. The tender heart  learns to seek Wiz’s wisdom in stressful situations, self-doubt, and insecurities at his mother’s counsel.


William the Wizard is fictitious yet very real to the young child. The child’s concerned mom wants the best for her off spring and dreams of success in her son’s life, both now and as an adult.  In her quest to help him cope with changes and daily stress she follows the advice of a professional child physiologist – an expert- and assists her son in adopting an imaginary guide.


As the child grows the questions will become more serious, the stress greater, the decisions weightier. Chances are the child will drop William the Wizard later in life, but the practice of asking hard questions to his inner self will remain strong.


This is a problem.


The practice of seeking wisdom from deep within the heart is in direct contradiction to what scripture teaches. Following biblical principals/wisdom works for EVERYONE Christian or not. The Bible holds TRUE WISDOM.


‘It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man,’

Psalms 118:8 (NIV)


We must teach our children to ask God questions not the inner heart in the form of an imaginary friend.


‘The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?’

Jeremiah 17: 9 (ESV)


An imaginary friend will eventually stop sounding like the mother’s words, and will begin to reflect the choices made by the surrounding culture. A growing number of teens today seek relief from stress in the form of self-mutilation: cutting, pulling out teeth, biting and more. The self-mutilators cannot tell you WHY they do it, they ‘just do.’


They seek direction from within.


‘If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.’

James 1:5 (ESV)

If they sought God’s wisdom in the Word they would KNOW that they are fearfully and wonderfully made (Palms 139:14) and would respect their bodies rather than destroy them.


‘…out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery…’

Mark 7:21 (ESV)

The heart is a dangerous place to seek counsel. My heart counseled me to leave my husband and find real happiness without him in our earlier years. Scripture counseled me to stay true to my vows. 


Twenty-four-years later I cannot imagine life with a different man. Thank God I sought wisdom in the Word and did NOT follow my inner voice.


Truth sustains. Truth directs. Truth liberates.


Worldly wisdom, looking deep into the heart to find direction, has become a modern day High Place where self-wisdom is esteemed higher than God. High Places were set places of worship to various gods that dates back thousands of years, yet forms of High Places still remain today. Today worshiping counterfeit gods appears more sophisticated, acceptable and wise; but the offense is still the same. The Israelites of old mixed God worship and pagan worship and reaped destruction as a result. ‘Thou shall have no other gods before me,’ Exodus 20:3 (You can read about it throughout the Old Testament.) Our God is the same yesterday, today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8)


Let’s be on guard. Let’s NOT lead our children to ANY High Place.


My oldest son (21) called me the other day after a treacherous day at work. Another employee at his workplace picks, nags, and complains. Weary from long hours and lack of camaraderie-ship in the daily situation, my son talked through his stressful day with me.


“Mom, I TRULY wanted to throw in the towel. QUIT. Leave him there to finish the job without my help. His constant ungrateful, complaining personality drains me of fortitude and even physical strength. Just when I was at my lowest today, a verse we memorized when I was six-years-old popped into my head and I knew what I needed to do.”


‘Whatever you do work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord and not for man.’

Colossians 3: 23


“I knew I needed to take my focus off of him and work whole-heartedly for the Lord. I knew walking away from the difficult circumstance was the wrong thing to do. The Holy Spirit totally guided me to make the right choice.”


My son’s heart counseled him to abandon this difficult employee, so that the complainer would finally appreciate his hard work. Scripture counseled my son to stay put, sacrifice pride, overlook the offenses, and work whole-heartedly.


We moms ultimately desire to see our kids flourish and succeed in life regardless of our different world views.


Hear me: Whether you are a Christian or not, I implore you to pick up the Bible. Read it to your kids. Read through the Book of Wisdom (Proverbs) with your kids.


Read it over and over. Memorize it.


God wants to lavish you with all the wisdom and instruction you need to lead your children, but you must ASK Him and seek Him.


‘Every good and perfect gift comes from the Father above,’

James 1:17


Ask God to lead you as you lead your kids. He promises that He will. (See: Isaiah 40:11)


We moms have the great privilege and heavy weight of raising this next generation. No pressure. If you made it to the end of this article, there’s no doubt that you take motherhood seriously. I’m with you in spirit and I’ll be praying for you!


Below are a few more scriptures to encourage you seek Godly wisdom:

‘Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.’

Matthew 13:14


But he answered, “It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

Matt 4:4


‘The unfolding of your words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple.’

Psalms 199:130


‘Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.’

Matthew 24:35

Laundry Mom Terri BoninLaundry Mom~Terri♥

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