I recently found a blog entry I wrote during this last pregnancy. Messy. Apparently I held it back because:
a) I lost it on my unorganized computer due to “pregnancy brain” or
b) I was too hormonal to let you know how hormonal I was. (Ever been there?)
I’m posting it now for those moms who currently wear those dubious shoes. Do not fear; it passes! I hope this brings someone comfort.
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I’m a mess. A stinking, hormonal mess…
(My poor husband.)
He did not marry an emotional girl…at all! A tear hardly trickled down my happy face the first ten years of our marriage. These murky emotions have been slow in coming, but sister, they have arrived! Sometimes mascara drips down my cheeks as involuntary surprise tears fall, while other times gladness beams off my cheeks…and all in the same day.
One never knows which will be flipping the pancakes in the morning.
As I talk through these new waves of emotion with my ever patient husband, he confirms that I am NOT THE SUM OF MY FEELINGS. Feelings lie, betray, lead astray, and whisper bad advice. This is why filling my mind with Truth from the Word of God daily is ESSENTIAL. I learn who I am and my purpose is reconfirmed through His Word.
It’s so easy to fall into self-pity and self-destructive thoughts when hormones rage, and life’s happy lens switches with a Fun House, distorted rather frightening lens.
It’s HARD to rise above and count blessings while lingering at the bottom of the well, but when I talk to my stable husband my eyes see that blessings still surround me and more are being made.
All great things are birthed in pain…Surfaces in my brain and shines light into the dark corners.
From what I understand, my LONG STRETCH of stable tear-less-ness is more abnormal than these waves. If you ride waves of emotions, first: thank God that you FEEL. Thank God that you are a life that feels joy, pain, happiness, and sorrow.
Second: Remember that we are not the sum of what we feel. We are what God says we are.
If hormones sling wild emotions in your mind, grab onto The Word and soak your brain in truth and know that This Too Shall Pass.
Laundry Mom~Terri♥
