You’ve got to love your husband – you vowed you would. But the liking part? Well, you didn’t make any promises there. But maybe you should have. Relationships all begin with liking, and it is extremely important that this mutual fondness continues through all of the hills and valleys of a marriage. When you like a person, you enjoy sharing time with him and create opportunities to do so. Couples often get so caught up in establishing a healthy romance that they overlook a healthy friendship. Your husband needs to be your best friend. Intimacy is important, but real intimacy begins and ends with friendship.
Start looking for opportunities to celebrate your friendship and be together. You don’t have to plan anything formal. As a matter of fact, the less pressure, the better. Whether you rock climb together or do yard work side by side, what is really important is that you seize every opportunity to share your life. When you keep talking and working together, you don’t grow apart. Friendships fizzle and die out with a lack of attention. Stoke the fires of your relationship by remaining close friends.
A friend also recognizes the very best in you and inspires you to achieve it. Sometimes in a marriage, you want to see the best in your husband, so you tend to criticize him into being the best. That never works. Inspire him instead. Talk up his attributes, just like you would to a friend. Encourage him by being a mirror, reflecting back to him his very best self.
Real love is not a noun. It’s a verb. Love becomes solid when your husband’s happiness and fulfillment become yours as well. Logically, doing things for your husband should make you happy in return. I know sometimes it’s not that easy, but try looking for opportunities to give instead of waiting to receive.
“For you” is doing things daily for your husband without any hidden agenda or anticipated reciprocity. Just do it because his fulfillment is your fulfillment. When you begin to look for opportunities to do for your husband, something amazing happens. He begins looking for opportunities to do for you. It’s in the little things that love shows its face. It’s making his cup of coffee before you make yours. It’s rubbing his back when it’s yours that is aching. A marriage is service with a smile, but it all comes back to you in huge rewards. Start fostering an attitude of giving with no strings attached. This is unconditional love at its best.
Before you know it you will realize as you “do” for each other the liking part will begin to show up in the little areas of your marriage, and that spark that was missing will begin again! If you haven’t already…be sure to grab your “14 days to ignite Your Marriage” to help add some romance back into the mix!