“I Am NOT Your Doormat!”
by Hannah Keeley
I know how it feels. You’re the one picking up the house at night. You’re the one left in the kitchen scrubbing the dishes. You’re the one sorting the socks and folding the towels (even though EVERYONE in the house uses them). After awhile, it gets exasperating. You feel, well,…
Like a doormat!
“Hi! I”m a mom! Please step on me to get where you want to go! What? You have dog poop on your shoes? No problem! Just wipe them off on me. I don’t matter.”
We’ve all felt that at one time or another. I was reminded of this the other day when…
Karis came walking down the hall.
“Hey, Mom! I like that rug you got by the door.” He said. I just gave him an odd look.
“Umm, Karis, we’ve had that rug there for like two years,” I said.
“Oh,” he responded. “I guess the rug is just feeling really powerful today, so I took notice.”
After briefly thinking my son had lost his mind, I gave his response some serious thought. The rug? Feeling powerful? What’s up with that?
Actually, there is a lot of truth to that, truth that moms need to understand.
First, you determine how people treat you. Whether you realize it or not, how you feel about yourself is how other people will treat you. If you don’t respect your career as a mom, no one is going to respect your career as a mom. The treatment you get begins and ends with you! Maybe one of the reasons you feel like you’re treated like a doormat is because you think of yourself as a doormat. Get some power! Give your career as a mom that respect it deserves. Treat it like a profession. You’re not going to get professional treatment until you start acting like a professional.
Second, you need to enlist the troops. You don’t dirty up the whole house, so you shouldn’t have to clean up the whole house. Get your family to help out with the chores and household responsibilities. Just becauses you’re a mom doesn’t mean you’re a maid. Also, if you don’t hold your children responsible for housekeeping and maintenance, how will they ever learn? You don’t want your kid to be that guy in college that doesn’t even know how to turn on a washing machine, and doesn’t know the difference between the soap you use to wash dishes in the sink, and the soap you put in the dishwasher.
Third, there’s nothing wrong with service. Even if you get your family to help out, there will be the times when you are the only one finishing up the kitchen and washing all the towels and decluttering the closets. If this makes you feel like a doormat then that’s because you don’t understand the beauty of service. God loves service! In fact, Jesus said, “If you love me feed my sheep.” And sometimes that means we feed the sheep, wash their dishes, clip their hair, and, yes, wipe the poop off their feet. There is nothing more beautiful in God’s eyes than love that is manifested as service. When you serve others, you are serving God HImself. And there’s nothing more powerful than that!
So, now it’s your turn. Do you ever feel like a doormat? Leave a comment below and share with me what you are going to do TODAY to change that around. I love you and I’VE GOT YOUR BACK!
Hannah Keeley was once in overwhelmed mom living in a cluttered house, deep in debt, out of shape, and barely hanging on. But one day, after finding herself sobbing uncontrollably into a pile of clean laundry, she realized God has bigger and better plans for her (just like He does for each one of His children). Beginning that day, she began making changes in her life that took her from overwhelmed to overjoyed. Today, she’s helping moms do the same. Hannah, her husband, Blair, and their seven children live in Richmond, Virginia, and are having the time of their lives!
Check out Hannah’s Website Here!
Hi Hannah, yes I feel like a doormat right about now, only I’m a doormat that just exploded in a fit of rage and anger at my husband. I just had to seek some words of solace and advise for my self in my situation and came across your site. I’m a working ,mum of two children, 5&3. We have a live in au pair who is meant to help us out with the children and some house chores, my husband lost his job recently and is home trying to find a new job. Despite the fact that we have an au pair I still find myself coming home and doing almost all the housework, I don’t like to make anyone feel like they have to do everything because I like to chip in myself to sort my house out, I’ve been a stay at home mum for 4 years but I expect people to take the imitative to do stuff rather than being told what to do all the time. The reason for my outburst today wa that this au pair left her dirty laundry last week in the washing machine for me to wash obviously, I said nothing at the time, I took them out and washed what I felt was pressing to wash, I put them back in yesterday along side some of our clothes and mentioned to my husband to pleas ask her to dry them up as most of the items were her underwear. I got back from work only to find that the selectively picked out her clothes and left ours in there, and left some of her underwear behind as well and has gone away for the weekend. I was fuming because I felt how dare she do that when its my time, electricity and not to mention detergent I used to wash her laundry, the least she could have done was spread them on the line and I sort them out, my husband could have picked up on the clothes still in the washer but didn’t and I just feel that I have to physically be at home for things to just function, no one considers that I might be tired, stressed, overworked, all I do is work, work, work, my weekends involve sorting out the house, cooking, sorting out the kids, I just get on with things as I feel they have to be done but no one stops to think how I feel. Thoughts have honestly crossed my mind of just picking up a bag and just leaving which I have expressed in anger tonight. I want my husband to find a job and be happy but I just feel like a right doormat right now and I’m so angry at my au pair but she’s not here (thankfully) to feel the brunt of my anger. I’m praying for God to just give me peace but I feel so downcast. Any words of advise would be appreciated.
Thanks,
A feeling like a doormat mum/wife
Birmimgham, U.K.