How to Help Your Son Achieve His Goals Without Pushing Your Agenda (Part 1)

How to Help Your Son Achieve His Goals

Without Pushing Your Agenda (Part 1)

by Rhonda Stoppe


Over 60 years ago my husband’s aunt was surprised when she gave birth to twins. Can you imagine the shock? Because she had not had months to ponder clever names for two babies instead of one, she instinctively relied on a familiar nursery rhyme and named them Jack and Jill.

These days, however, technology has made it quite rare for a mother to be surprised by a multiple-birth pregnancy, allowing them sufficient time to prepare for the demands of caring for two or more babies.

In Genesis 25:23, when Rebekah found out she was carrying twin boys, she received the announcement not from her doctor, but from the Lord Himself. Genesis 25:23 tells us that while Rebekah was still pregnant, the Lord informed her that the older twin, Esau, would one day serve Jacob, the younger twin.

As the years passed…

How to Help Your Son Achieve His Goals Without Pushing Your Agenda

…the boys grew into men. When their aged father, Isaac, prepared to pass on the blessing of birthright to Esau, Rebekah devised a scheme by which Jacob could steal the heritage from his older brother, the legal heir.

Remembering the Lord’s promise in Genesis 25:23 that “the older [twin] shall serve the younger,” and upon seeing that Isaac planned to give the blessing of birthright to Esau, Rebekah devised a plan to trick him.

Your Agenda Versus God’s Agenda

God had given Rebekah a glimpse of His great plan for Jacob. Rather than prayerfully waiting upon the Lord to accomplish His perfect will, Rebekah developed her own ideas of how to ensure a successful future for Jacob.

As your son grows up, God may give you glimpses of his strengths. It is a natural tendency for mothers to become so excited about their son’s potential that they end up pushing him rather than guiding him toward success.

In the course of discovering your son’s abilities, learn from Rebekah’s mistake,
and be careful not to push your personal agenda upon him or others.

One Act Impacts Generations

While it is important for you to celebrate your son’s strong points, you need to make sure you balance your encouraging words with respect for God’s authority.

Rather than push your personal agenda, submit to God’s plans,
and let Him work out your son’s future in His way and time.

How can you discern whether your plans are godly? One good question to ask yourself is this: Will this plan draw other people’s attention to me and my son, or will it bring honor to the Lord?

An insidious temptation we as mothers face is to raise our sons for our own distinction rather than for the esteem of the Lord. As you contemplate how to support your son’s achievements, will you make it a habit to prayerfully evaluate your motives?

In Isaiah 43:7, God said He created people for His glory. One who lives for the sole purpose of glorifying God is one whose life will be successful and satisfying. Will you determine to be more concerned about the reputation of Christ reflected in you and your son than in your own standing as a mother?

Examining your personal motives is a difficult and ever-changing task. Through consistent prayer and the reading of Scripture, the Holy Spirit will help you discern your motives. No other resource can better help you discover who you are, or what motivates you, than the Word of God, because it “is living and powerful…and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”



rhonda_stoppe.jpgRhonda Stoppe is the NO REGRETS WOMAN. With more than 30 years experience of helping women live life with no regrets.

Rhonda Stoppe’s book MOMS RAISING SONS TO BE MEN is mentoring thousands of moms to guide sons toward a no-regrets life. Her new book IF MY HUSBAND WOULD CHANGE I’D BE HAPPY-And Other Myths Wives Believe (Harvest House Publishers) is helping countless women build no-regrets marriages. As a pastor’s wife, speaker, and author, Rhonda has helped women to:

  • Discover significance and purpose for their lives
  • Impact the moral fiber of the next generation by raising children with integrity
  • Find victory over people-pleasing
  • Experience a No Regrets Marriage
  • Build an incredible legacy
  • Become more influential than they ever dreamed possible

For More:

-Listen to Rhonda’s message: Staying in Love 


*Excerpt from Chapter 1 – IF MY HUSBAND WOULD CHANGE I’D BE HAPPY (Harvest House Publishers)

LISTEN TO THIS RADIO EXCERPT of Rhonda Stoppe on “The Road Show” with Host Laurette Willis: “Exchanging Your Dreams for God’s Plans” (Please attach this link: http://rhondastoppe.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/track-4-HopeforProdigals.mp3

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