Have you ever wondered if you should even have children? Do you look at the world and think, “why would I bring a child into this crazy world?” Or maybe you have one child and you are not sure about another. When do you know you are “done”.
Only the Lord and your spouse can guide you in this decision.
My journey is not unique, maybe my story will be yours.
I’ve recently been reminiscing on my life as a child and how child-less my upbringing was.
Three weeks ago I gave birth to our eighth child.
She was born at home with five other sisters in the home awaiting her arrival. The brothers were not too far off with friends that day.
When Adaya Mercy arrived, I observed all my girls just watch in complete awe and amazement at what God had given them.
A new sister
With a three year old in the home they were familiarized with all the ins and outs of newborns.
Don’t mess with the umbilical cord, careful with her soft spot, only mommies can give baby a bath….etc.
What struck me like a hole in my heart and literally made my breath stand still those first few days of her life was the realization that I grew up having never – not ever, been around babies or even very young kids.
Looking at all my kids at their ages….3, 6, 8, 11, 14, 16, and 18….I had to think back of where I was at all those ages.
I was living a self-focused, self-absorbed, me-centered life all along. I had no idea as a child, what it meant to just want to pick up a sleeping baby in order to smell her freshly washed hair and feel her cuddly newborn body up against my chest.
My little ones will go out of their way just to find where the baby is and pick her up to feel her breath on their faces.
I knew nothing of that joy as a child.
So I really didn’t miss it. Not only that, but I realized, that no one I knew had babies. None of my friends had any younger siblings around.
Even our church seemed to be void of a nursery (or at least I never saw it as a young child). Growing up in the 70’s was like that, you may have had the same experience. I never remember even seeing a pregnant woman, let alone any babies growing up. Of course I’m sure they were around, I just never noticed. Being in public schools you are really only around your age group for 12 years.
It was my sophomore year in college before I had even seen a woman with several small children, before I ever saw someone nurse a baby. Her name was Laura, and meeting her changed my view forever.
It was the first seed that God planted in my heart for having a family, a big family and homeschooling everyone. I say all this because now, at 42 I am humbled and awed by God’s decision to bless us with a large family. This is a script I could have never written in a million years.
Babies were foreign to me.
I was selfish, and up until Jesus became the center of my life, I was headed to a life of careers and Lord only knows what else. When I gave my heart fully to Jesus, I abandoned every preconceived notion and trusted Him with the rest. Including my womb.
He really does know what He’s doing.
He really is the Sovereign one, and He really can make the right decisions for us and our body no matter what His answer is concerning having, adopting, or simply mentoring another child.
Finally, a wise mentor told me as a young bride that the two most important things you will ever give your child outside of introducing them to Christ Jesus,
is a strong marriage relationship
God bless you in your decision making.
“Behold, Children are a gift from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is His reward.” Psalm 127:3
From April 2011…used with permission