This month- as we focus on marriages, I wanted to share some of our most commonly asked questions, the ones we get with baffled looks and bewildered raised eyebrows! As parents of 8 children, ages 6 months to 17, the top question we get is:
How do you make time for each other?!
A good question indeed! And oh- do I ever understand the reality of everyday life threatening to squeeze out time for ourselves as a couple.
Bottom line is, we have to decided that we simply must do it. There is no perfect formula, no perfect time that always works, and really no perfect “date”.
Time together has looked different over the years, but it’s important to realize there is always a way to choose what is most important.
Most recently our “dates” have consisted of simply leaving the house! We drive down the driveway… and feel the relief wash over us immediately! With our baby boy in tow, date nights are best kept simple: a drive or a walk, with a stop for coffee or dinner once in awhile. We may take a drive or shop a bit (my hubs likes to buy me clothes)! We still have plenty of time to focus on one another, and so delight in the joy of carrying on with an uninterrupted conversation!
Sometimes our older kids like to tease us with how “unromantic” our dates nights have become! And….well, it’s true, bringing a wee babe doesn’t make for the most intimate of date nights. But we’re also happy to accept the season we are in- knowing that this new baby year flies by in a blink, and we’ll have evenings and overnights free again before we know it.
The most recent change, in the age where screens and media tempt and beckon at every moment, is the decision to shut the computer at 9:00 pm. This is a time to connect with our teens, then get ourselves ready for bed at a decent hour. This one has been the game-changer for sure… no more idling away on the screens in opposite rooms, but choosing to be face-to-face with each other. Who wants to look back on the years and wish they’d spent more time at the computer screen? Not many of us, most likely. And I certainly don’t want to look back and regret not investing those precious evening minutes speaking life, love and Truth into my man.
I want my marriage to be gloriously fun, and I know that takes work and intention- one day at a time. If you’re in a season where extended, extravagant weekends away are an option- enjoy it! But if you’re like us and consistent, cuddly couch times are the best option- than make time for it, and enjoy each other! Any time invested in our spouse is one of the most important gifts we can can give to ourselves, and to our children.
How do you make time for your spouse in these often crazy, full days of parenting little ones?
Feel free to comment below and share your tips with the rest of us!
Laundry Mom~Kali ♥
This is great, Kali!! Sometimes Troy and I will take a wee one or a toddler, or young one with us on our dates just because…These are special times, both when we are together and when our date consists of 3 of us. It has simply been important for us to be consistent and to put away our phones and TALK. Dating during marriage is WAY more fun than dating before marriage, in my opinion.
I agree, dating is definitely more fun in marriage than before! And we are way more creative now 😉
Loved this, Kali! We hve date night every Friday night! It’s so nice to have older siblings who can watch the littles. We go on quick errands together, too – just to have a few little pockets of time to be together and talk, and we put little peopel to bed at 7:30, 8:00 and the teens stay up but quiet (as does baby O!). I was not enthusiastic about the “waste of money” and “ditching the children”, but i am so grateful my sweet honey made this a priority! I love your idea about a 9pm electronic curfew – i’ve been mulling ways to put boundaries around screens, at least a little ore, but tonight we’re reading The Difference Engine together on our ipads, so i guess that isn’t too naughty 🙂