Difficult Seasons of Marriage
By Drenda Keesee
I don’t know about you, but my marriage is nothing but smiles, laughter, and fanning each other with palm leaves…
Just kidding!
No marriage is perfect, including my own! Every relationship has its difficult seasons. It’s when you allow the difficult seasons to become downward spirals that you really get into dangerous situations.
That’s why I want to…
…do all I can do to help you keep your marriage strong, even in the midst of challenges.
God loves marriage. He created it! No matter what your circumstances, no matter what challenges you face, God can bring healing and restoration to any relationship, if you seek His wisdom and presence.
Part of having a strong marriage comes from paying attention to it, recognizing the difficult seasons when they come, and doing the hard work it takes to overcome them so you can come out even stronger!
Recognizing and Navigating the Difficult Seasons
Just like life, every marriage has difficult seasons. Whether it’s caring for aging parents, raising young children, or dealing with a big loss, God is there through it all.
You just have to take your eyes off the problems and put them back on His promises.
The enemy wants to divide you and your spouse, and one of the easiest ways to do that is to get you to believe that God doesn’t have better for you. Don’t believe him!
If you are in the midst of a battle, take heart, because the battle can often be the most intense right as you’re about to experience victory.
I want to encourage you to stay in the fight, no matter what the circumstances. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, pick up your sword of the Spirit and fight the enemy until you have the fulfillment of the promises of God!
Often, the decisions you make in the difficult seasons are the most important. Choose to believe the Word of God today and you will learn to navigate difficult seasons with courage and hope.
Go HERE to watch my Youtube teaching on “Navigating Difficult Seasons in Your Marriage.”
Resisting the Urge to Stay Offended and Wounded
In the early years of our marriage, I struggled to figure out who I was as a wife and mother.
Instead of looking to God for my identity, I often relied on my husband, Gary, to make me feel loved and whole.
I learned this truth the hard way: only when we find our identities in Christ can we be made whole!
Once I learned how to do that, my spouse wasn’t responsible for my happiness, and that went a long way in making our marriage stronger.
But still, I am human and I made my share of mistakes, one of which was staying offended too long.
There were times we would go to bed angry (P.S. – this is not what Ephesians 4:26 tells us to do), Gary would fall asleep, and I would toss and turn just to try and keep him awake too! We all harbor offenses and act out in anger.
The good news? When we learn to rely on His Word more than our wounds, we are made whole.
Psalm 107:20 says that “He sent out his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave.”
When we choose to surrender our will, emotional pain, and confusion to Jesus, we give Him room to bring wholeness to our spirits, souls, emotions, bodies, and every part of our lives!
Jesus wants you to be free from all hurt and confusion.
The best thing you can do right now if you are harboring any unforgiveness or offense, is to ask God to do a work of healing in every part of your life and to help you let go. It will do wonders for your spirit and your marriage.
I hope this has helped you gain some wisdom and understanding in your marriage. I am right here praying for you and cheering you on as you move forward in your journey!
~ Drenda
Listen in Now to Faith Life Church!
Drenda Keesee’s contagious zeal and humorous personal experiences help make her ministry of spiritual, emotional and relational wholeness one that will bless your life and spark a new fire in your spirit.
A wife of over 30 years and a mother of five children, Drenda has ministered at churches, seminars, and conferences, and through the mediums of television and radio, for more than 20 years.
Her books, The New Vintage Family, Better Than You Think, and She Gets It are available wherever books are sold. In these heartfelt books, Drenda shares her personal journey and the life lessons that have brought her to where she is today, as well as practical answers that all people need to live a joyful life.
Drenda and her husband Gary founded Faith Life Now, a ministry designed to spread the message of freedom in the areas of finances, faith, marriage, and family. Tune in for their weekly messages here. Faith Life Now hosts conferences worldwide, and sponsors both Fixing the Money Thing, which Drenda co-hosts with her husband Gary, and Drenda.
Through their own life experiences, the Keesee’s have found the principles from God’s Word to be powerful and effective. At one point, Drenda was a young, suicidal feminist with no hope of ever being “good enough” for her own standards of perfection. She never wanted the “inconvenience” of a husband or children, and she was on her own path to success. But the stress of trying to achieve perfection and perform for love left her broken and used. She had success, but it was nothing compared to the pain and loneliness it had also brought.
That’s when God got a hold of her heart. It was there—at her lowest point—that she found the One who accepted and loved her, faults and all. Since that transformation, Drenda has had a passion to reach women who find themselves where she once was.
She married Gary after attending college, and there she found herself in a personal boot camp of sorts. She says, “I cried and told God, ‘I can do anything but be a wife and mother.’” She committed to learning how to do it God’s way. Through the many years of raising their children and struggling to make ends meet, Drenda learned from their mistakes. “I didn’t know how to be a wife and mother, but God saved our marriage, taught us how to parent our children for success, showed us how to have financial success, and then irony of all ironies, He called us to ministry.” It’s truly because of these life experiences that Drenda can now share so many insightful principles for people who are now going through the same struggles.
