Dear Perfectionist
By Drenda Keesee
Dear Perfectionist,
Some people find the holidays to be challenging because of the intense desire for everything to be perfect.
The table needs to be set just right. The kids need to be on their best behavior. The food needs to look and taste delicious. And in a perfect world, everyone’s attitude is like an episode of Leave It to Beaver.
PERFECTION IS STRESSFUL!
Why? Because…
…in our attempt to make everything perfect for everyone else, we lose ourselves.
I know. I used to be a serial people pleaser. The thought that somebody could possibly be upset with me would consume my every thought until the situation was mended. I was perfect shark bait.
No one wants to disappoint other people.
Nevertheless, if we want to swim with the sharks, we need to get really familiar with one word: boundaries. They’re that important! Part of learning boundaries is understanding that it is our responsibility to communicate. We can’t expect anyone to anticipate our needs or desires, nor can we expect to anticipate theirs!
I love this advice from author Cheryl Richardson:
“If you want to live an authentic, meaningful life, you need to master the art of disappointing and upsetting others … living with the reality that some people just won’t like you. It may not be easy, but it’s essential if you want your life to reflect your deepest desires, values, and needs.”
We can’t please everyone! Guess what? That’s okay! God never asked us to!
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10, NIV).
People-pleasing leads us down a road of obligation. It steals the joy and peace out of serving and doing nice things for others. When we do things for others from a heart of love, joy and peace will guard our hearts.
Choose love over perfection today.
Let go of the “stuff” and enjoy the people! Whether you’re spending time with immediate family, in-laws, or friends, may God’s goodness overwhelm your heart!
Your friend and cheerleader,
Drenda
P.S. – I am so excited to announce that my husband, Gary, released a brand-new book! It’s called Your Faith Hunt! Trust me, this book is not just for hunters! It is a 21-day devotional and prayer journal to help you on your own faith journey with God! Learn more here!
~ Drenda
Listen in Now to Faith Life Church!
Drenda Keesee’s contagious zeal and humorous personal experiences help make her ministry of spiritual, emotional and relational wholeness one that will bless your life and spark a new fire in your spirit.
A wife of over 30 years and a mother of five children, Drenda has ministered at churches, seminars, and conferences, and through the mediums of television and radio, for more than 20 years.
Her books, The New Vintage Family, Better Than You Think, and She Gets It are available wherever books are sold. In these heartfelt books, Drenda shares her personal journey and the life lessons that have brought her to where she is today, as well as practical answers that all people need to live a joyful life.
Drenda and her husband Gary founded Faith Life Now, a ministry designed to spread the message of freedom in the areas of finances, faith, marriage, and family. Tune in for their weekly messages here. Faith Life Now hosts conferences worldwide, and sponsors both Fixing the Money Thing, which Drenda co-hosts with her husband Gary, and Drenda.
Through their own life experiences, the Keesees have found the principles from God’s Word to be powerful and effective. At one point, Drenda was a young, suicidal feminist with no hope of ever being “good enough” for her own standards of perfection. She never wanted the “inconvenience” of a husband or children, and she was on her own path to success. But the stress of trying to achieve perfection and perform for love left her broken and used. She had success, but it was nothing compared to the pain and loneliness it had also brought.
That’s when God got a hold of her heart. It was there—at her lowest point—that she found the One who accepted and loved her, faults and all. Since that transformation, Drenda has had a passion to reach women who find themselves where she once was.
She married Gary after attending college, and there she found herself in a personal boot camp of sorts. She says, “I cried and told God, ‘I can do anything but be a wife and mother.’” She committed to learning how to do it God’s way. Through the many years of raising their children and struggling to make ends meet, Drenda learned from their mistakes. “I didn’t know how to be a wife and mother, but God saved our marriage, taught us how to parent our children for success, showed us how to have financial success, and then irony of all ironies, He called us to ministry.” It’s truly because of these life experiences that Drenda can now share so many insightful principles for people who are now going through the same struggles.
