David’s Mother Wasn’t A Helicopter Mom
by Rhonda Stoppe
David of the Bible grew up to be a mighty King who the Lord called a man after His own heart. If you take time to study great men in Scripture you’ll soon discover that God intentionally allowed trials in their lives to grow their character to reflect His glory.
As a mother, isn’t it the hardest thing to watch your children struggle amidst the storms of life? And if you’re anything like me, you’ll agree that instinct dictates that we rescue our kids from trials whenever possible. But what can we learn from David’s story? How did God grow him through trials and what can we learn about raising our own sons from David’s mother?
Have you ever asked yourself where David’s momma was while he was out there camping with the sheep and wrestling wild animals? Well, she wasn’t there fighting his battles for him. We can learn a lot from David’s mom.
She allowed her boy to…
…become a man while he was still living at home. David was her youngest son, yet knowing the danger, David’s mother allowed him to leave the safety of home to work as a shepherd. David would have found a sense of accomplishment contributing to the family business. What kind of man might had he been if his mother’s fears kept him tied to her apron strings? She seemed to know when to step back and allow him to face challenges without micromanaging his choices.
It can be frightening to loosen your grip on your son as he matures. All too often mothers coddle their sons in an attempt to protect or make life easier for them, only to cripple their ability to manage when they leave the safety of their homes. Making a conscious effort to allow and even orchestrate opportunities for your son to accomplish tasks away from your watchful eye will develop his courage and ability to make decisions.
She had the courage to leave his safety in the hands of God. In those lonely hours spent on the hillsides, David learned how to be a man. God had used trials to develop his loyal heart. His mother seemed to have resisted the temptation to rescue him at every turn. The Bible says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6). The Lord wants to be involved in your parenting decisions moment by moment. As you trust and acknowledge Him at each turn, He will make your path straight. If you rely on your own understanding and fight every battle for your son, how will he learn to rely on God’s strength? Sometimes God will ask you to let your little boy battle that bear. Are you willing?
She respected her husband’s wisdom. When David was a teenager His father, Jesse, sent him into the battlefront with food for his older brothers. You don’t hear David’s mother protesting, “Not my baby! He is too young to go.” Over the years there have been many times that my husband has given one of our boys a responsibility that I thought was too much for them. My initial instinct was to step to the boy’s defense and explain why my husband was making a wrong decision. More often than not, I was the one in the wrong. I had to learn that my husband, who was a man, had more discernment with regard to what they could and couldn’t handle. (If your son does not have a father, do not despair; we will discuss that later in this book.) We moms must remember we are raising men; we need men involved in bringing up boys. While Jesse’s motive was practical, “Deliver supplies to your brothers,” the Lord had greater plans for David.
God was leading his loyal servant toward a battle
that He had ordained to take place
before David was even born
(see Ephesians 2:10).
David’s mother raised a man after God’s heart. Do you want to do the same with your son? What kind of mother might you be if you resolved to seek after God more diligently? How would your surrendered life affect your son’s character development?
Although rescuing your son will be your natural response, learn to rely on God for His wisdom to know when to rescue your son and when to allow God to mold his character through various trials.
*Excerpt: Stoppe, If My Husband Would Change I’d Be Happy (Harvest House Publishers).
Rhonda Stoppe is the NO REGRETS WOMAN. With more than 30 years experience of helping women live life with no regrets.
Rhonda Stoppe’s book MOMS RAISING SONS TO BE MEN is mentoring thousands of moms to guide sons toward a no-regrets life. Her new book IF MY HUSBAND WOULD CHANGE I’D BE HAPPY-And Other Myths Wives Believe (Harvest House Publishers) is helping countless women build no-regrets marriages. As a pastor’s wife, speaker, and author, Rhonda has helped women to:
* Discover significance and
LISTEN TO THIS RADIO EXCERPT of Rhonda Stoppe on “The Road Show” with Host Laurette Willis: “Exchanging Your Dreams for God’s Plans”