Crucial Choices in Marriage
by Terri Bonin
Many of you know that my honey is a dentist. He happens to be the best dentist in the world, which keeps patients coming back. Well, because our practice never lacks for business, I RARELY call my honey during the day, so as not to bother him. But it took me a while to come to this conclusion.
For years I would call my dentist-husband at work to find out what he wanted for dinner, or ask him to please pick up the dry-cleaning or to remind him about baseball. He would always excuse himself from his patient, de-glove, and take my calls.
Over and over he let me interrupt him with trivial, I just want to hear your voice calls. I NEVER knew I was interrupting him. I always assumed he just happened to be in-between patients.
I can be a little …duh…sometimes.
For years he juggled my whims throughout the workday, then one evening he…
…casually mentioned that he preferred texting because he could read my texts upside down, while his phone is clipped to his belt without ungloving, unmasking, and taking off his surgical bib!
When I realized what he was going through in order to take my calls, I felt like a lump of poo on a hot summer day, but a seriously treasured lump of poo!!!
He never mentioned the inconvenience.
He never acted irritated.
He always took my calls.
When the full picture formed in my mind, I felt overwhelmed.
Grateful for a man who cares.
Thankful for a husband who loves.
Blessed with a patient spouse.
And it made me want to give back in a double dose.
A biblical principle set into action: “Whatever a man sows, that shall he also reap,” Galatians 6:7.
My husband was giving respect to an oblivious wife…but God completed the circle when my eyes opened. My honey’s kindness made me want to show him the same respect by being home when he walks through the door in the evenings…by cooking foods to his liking…by making sure the kids have practiced the piano BEFORE he gets home.
We have been in our routine of respecting each other’s time for a while now, but this morning I stirred up our past experiences by a phone call I made.
I had a question I felt needed an immediate answer, so without thinking I picked up my daughter’s cell phone and rang my honey’s phone while he was at work…on a patient…like I did in prior years. The line rang and rang and right before it went to voice mail, he must have asked his assistant to answer his phone, because she picked up and said, “Madeleine?”
“Hey! This is Terri.”
I heard her cover the phone then say, “It’s Terri.”
Immediately he was on the phone. I announced my dilemma. He solved my crisis and we hung up.
Then I sat there for a minute and processed what had just taken place.
He was obviously in the middle of something important since he could not answer for our daughter, but he put all aside for ME…AGAIN.
His willingness to be inconvenienced for me makes me feel like a princess. It makes me feel treasured and important. He drops EVERYTHING when I call.
It’s a small choice that knits a tight bond…being available. My husband’s consistency in this area has taught me much.
Mental and physical availability to the spouse forges closeness.
Love your honey consistently in the little ways and wait patiently for your spouse to return the favor. The time will come when he sees… It is a biblical principle. God’s Word does not return void.
~Terri
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