Child Training 101

Drendra Keesee, family, Happy Life, marriage, Parenting, The Laundry Moms, The New Vintage Family

Child Training 101

by Drenda Keesee

I see so many Christians make the mistake of saying, “I trust God, so I can let my kids do what they want.

God will watch out for them.” Plain and simple, if you don’t discipline children, you are abusing them in one way or another. On the other hand, I see parents who use discipline in place of love, which is another huge mistake. Discipline is so crucial in your children’s life, but there’s a right and wrong way to do it. Without love is the wrong way.

What is the right balance?

On one side of the equation are…

…parents who beat and yell at their kids, which is abusive and creates rebellion and resentment or fear. The other side of the equation has parents who let their children walk over them.

Their kids could commit murder and get off with a warning! You know how it goes: the moment the parent appears to be serious about bringing discipline, the child delivers an unconvincing performance of high-pitched whining, tears, and pleadings.

The parent relents, hugs their precious one, whose tears instantly evaporate, and the child squirms out of their parent’s arms and runs off to play.

My kids would observe this in other families and say, “That parent just got played.” If you fall for that, you teach your child to manipulate you.

You teach them that with enough drama, enough excuses, and enough games, they can get out of anything. Have you ever met any adults with that same attitude? They are not fun people to be around!

God gave us instruction to train our children up in the way they should go. I don’t care how much you love God, or how much you pray, or how much you volunteer, or how much you trust God, if you don’t raise your children with boundaries and consequences, you are sending them toward a hard fall.

When my son Tim was four years old, I got called out of church service to come get him from his preschool class. When the teacher explained his disobedience in class, I said, “Okay,” and walked Tim to the restroom and disciplined him. I brought him back to the class, and the teacher looked on in shock and said, “You’re the only parent who’s ever done that! Everyone else makes excuses for their child and doesn’t care what I say.”

If you have to be brought out of church service to deal with your child because they did something wrong, you need to enforce some consequences. If the teachers cringe when you check your child into children’s church or daycare, you have a problem! Your child should not be a repeat offender in class.

You have to discipline and train children God’s way. He told us how to do it. God wants good examples and good fruit, and He wants you to educate your children and raise them up. That’s why you have to teach and train them. And in different phases of their life, there are different things they need to learn and different ways you need to teach them.

~Drenda

ps…Are you looking for a good church? Be sure and listen on Saturday evening or catch the 3 services on Sunday for Faith Life Church!

*Excerpt From The Book “The New Vintage Family” By Drenda Keesee

Drenda Keesee’s contagious zeal and humorous personal experiences help make her ministry of spiritual, emotional, and relational wholeness one that will bless your life and spark a new fire in your spirit.

A wife of over 30 years and a mother of five children, Drenda has ministered at churches, seminars, and conferences, and through the mediums of television and radio, for more than 20 years.

Her books, The New Vintage Family, Better Than You Think, and She Gets It are available wherever books are sold. In these heartfelt books, Drenda shares her personal journey and the life lessons that have brought her to where she is today, as well as practical answers that all people need to live a joyful life.

Drenda and her husband Gary founded Faith Life Now, a ministry designed to spread the message of freedom in the areas of finances, faith, marriage, and family. Tune in for their weekly messages here. Faith Life Now hosts conferences worldwide and sponsors both Fixing the Money Thing, which Drenda co-hosts with her husband Gary and Drenda.

Through their own life experiences, the Keesee’s have found the principles from God’s Word to be powerful and effective. At one point, Drenda was a young, suicidal feminist with no hope of ever being “good enough” for her own standards of perfection. She never wanted the “inconvenience” of a husband or children, and she was on her own path to success. But the stress of trying to achieve perfection and perform for love left her broken and used. She had success, but it was nothing compared to the pain and loneliness it had also brought.

That’s when God got a hold of her heart. It was there—at her lowest point—that she found the One who accepted and loved her, faults and all. Since that transformation, Drenda has had a passion to reach women who find themselves where she once was.

She married Gary after attending college, and there she found herself in a personal boot camp of sorts. She says, “I cried and told God, ‘I can do anything but be a wife and mother.’” She committed to learning how to do it God’s way. Through the many years of raising their children and struggling to make ends meet, Drenda learned from their mistakes. “I didn’t know how to be a wife and mother, but God saved our marriage, taught us how to parent our children for success, showed us how to have financial success, and then the irony of all ironies, He called us to ministry.” It’s truly because of these life experiences that Drenda can now share so many insightful principles for people who are now going through the same struggles.

Gary and Drenda pastor Faith Life Church at The Now Center in New Albany, Ohio, and also are the CEOs of Forward Financial Group.