Building A Family That Can Outlast The Culture
by Drenda Keesee
We built our dream home nearly eighteen years ago. In the building process, there were many things the builders had to take into account. They had to be sure to dig past the frost line, set the concrete at the right dimensions, and lay the foundation correctly. If they built the foundation wrong, it wouldn’t matter how beautifully I furnished the inside—the foundation would be cracked and the house would fall as soon as any pressure came against it.
The foundation of the house is rarely seen, but it is the house’s stability. It’s the same with your family’s private life—it is the foundation you are building for your children, and the truth is…
…what happens behind closed doors. To bring your children to church or attend a Bible study looks good on the exterior, but your children will always revert and rely on their foundation—what happens at home. Your family must be built on God’s Word.
Jesus said, “What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs” (Luke 12:3). That is so apt for family life.
I observe husbands and wives tearing their own homes down by following others’ foolish examples. In one case, I was in a salon with a hairstylist who had recently gone through a bitter divorce. She spoke brashly, taunting and almost demanding that her female coworkers go to a male strip club with her for the evening. They were married women, and she shamed them all into saying yes except the stylist servicing me, who leaned in to ask me, “What do I say?”
I whispered, “Tell her you’re going home to the only man you want to see strip!”
She said it teasingly, but once she did, silence fell, and one by one the other women decided they better go home, too!
I was surprised how quickly the others had been bullied into doing something that would foolishly tear down their own house (family). It only took one to get them headed in the wrong direction. But it also only took one who was willing to stand up to give the others the courage to do so.
I would encourage you to not let any militant voice, whether in the media or the workplace, bully you into letting go of your family or the timeless principles that build your home when applied with love. Watch your friendships; you will become them.
We built our family in the same way we built our house. We laid a firm foundation and built upon that with sturdy materials. We have always strived to keep our family’s private life congruent with what we say in our public life, because what happens in private is our foundation, and that is crucial to our children.
Excerpt from “The New Vintage Family” by Drenda Keesee
Drenda Keesee’s contagious zeal and humorous personal experiences help make her ministry of spiritual, emotional and relational wholeness one that will bless your life and spark a new fire in your spirit.
A wife of over 30 years and a mother of five children, Drenda has ministered at churches, seminars, and conferences, and through the mediums of television and radio, for more than 20 years.
Her books, The New Vintage Family, Better Than You Think, and She Gets It are available wherever books are sold. In these heartfelt books, Drenda shares her personal journey and the life lessons that have brought her to where she is today, as well as practical answers that all people need to live a joyful life.
Drenda and her husband Gary founded Faith Life Now, a ministry designed to spread the message of freedom in the areas of finances, faith, marriage, and family. Faith Life Now hosts conferences worldwide, and sponsors both Fixing the Money Thing, which Drenda co-hosts with her husband Gary, and Drenda.
Through their own life experiences, the Keesees have found the principles from God’s Word to be powerful and effective. At one point, Drenda was a young, suicidal feminist with no hope of ever being “good enough” for her own standards of perfection. She never wanted the “inconvenience” of a husband or children, and she was on her own path to success. But the stress of trying to achieve perfection and perform for love left her broken and used. She had success, but it was nothing compared to the pain and loneliness it had also brought.
That’s when God got a hold of her heart. It was there—at her lowest point—that she found the One who accepted and loved her, faults and all. Since that transformation, Drenda has had a passion to reach women who find themselves where she once was.
She married Gary after attending college, and there she found herself in a personal boot camp of sorts. She says, “I cried and told God, ‘I can do anything but be a wife and mother.’” She committed to learning how to do it God’s way. Through the many years of raising their children and struggling to make ends meet, Drenda learned from their mistakes. “I didn’t know how to be a wife and mother, but God saved our marriage, taught us how to parent our children for success, showed us how to have financial success, and then irony of all ironies, He called us to ministry.” It’s truly because of these life experiences that Drenda can now share so many insightful principles for people who are now going through the same struggles.