Boundaries with Kids
by Drenda Keesee
When the world tells you to conform, God tells you to stand up and stand out!
As a parent, I have come to realize that good parenting is a surefire way to ignite pushback from your children. When you set a boundary, they will test it. That’s okay. This is how they learn and grow. If children test a boundary and see that it is unbreakable, they stop testing it; however, if they test it and see it is weak, they will test it until it breaks. If your children don’t see you follow through on your word, you are in for years of frustration.
Don’t flip-flop on the boundaries you set for your children.
You and your spouse need to…
…stand your ground. You are your child’s first role model, and the key to accepting this position is making sure your actions support your words. Kids are smart. If you are practicing a “do as I say and not as I do” plan, you will lose credibility and, ultimately, their respect.
Don’t forget that you have been given a divine authority over your children to guide them and teach them God’s Word.
Deuteronomy 11:18-19 tells us “Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (NIV).
God appointed you to look to His Word and make the tough calls that sometimes result in you being unpopular. Remember, creating boundaries doesn’t make you the bad guy; you are creating security and safety.
Sometimes I hear parents say, “My son isn’t talking to me” or, “My daughter told me I’m ruining her life.” Don’t let your emotions get the best of you. Children say things in anger that they don’t mean. They are learning emotional regulation; bear with them.
The Bottom line is…It’s Not About Popularity!
Parenting is not a popularity contest. Resist the desire to be popular, and pursue what you believe is the right path for your family!
I raised five children and it was hard work. Sometimes I had to escape to the bathroom to get a minute to myself, but I didn’t give up because I knew that my job was so important.
The parenting choices you make in their season of childhood will make a difference in the harvest they will reap in their season of adulthood.
ps…Are you looking for a good church? Be sure and listen on Saturday evening or catch the 3 services on Sunday for Faith Life Church!
Drenda Keesee’s contagious zeal and humorous personal experiences help make her ministry of spiritual, emotional, and relational wholeness one that will bless your life and spark a new fire in your spirit.
A wife of over 30 years and a mother of five children, Drenda has ministered at churches, seminars, and conferences, and through the mediums of television and radio, for more than 20 years.
Her books, The New Vintage Family, Better Than You Think, and She Gets It are available wherever books are sold. In these heartfelt books, Drenda shares her personal journey and the life lessons that have brought her to where she is today, as well as practical answers that all people need to live a joyful life.
Drenda and her husband Gary founded Faith Life Now, a ministry designed to spread the message of freedom in the areas of finances, faith, marriage, and family. Tune in for their weekly messages here. Faith Life Now hosts conferences worldwide and sponsors both Fixing the Money Thing, which Drenda co-hosts with her husband Gary and Drenda.
Through their own life experiences, the Keesee’s have found the principles from God’s Word to be powerful and effective. At one point, Drenda was a young, suicidal feminist with no hope of ever being “good enough” for her own standards of perfection. She never wanted the “inconvenience” of a husband or children, and she was on her own path to success. But the stress of trying to achieve perfection and perform for love left her broken and used. She had success, but it was nothing compared to the pain and loneliness it had also brought.
That’s when God got a hold of her heart. It was there—at her lowest point—that she found the One who accepted and loved her, faults and all. Since that transformation, Drenda has had a passion to reach women who find themselves where she once was.
She married Gary after attending college, and there she found herself in a personal boot camp of sorts. She says, “I cried and told God, ‘I can do anything but be a wife and mother.’” She committed to learning how to do it God’s way. Through the many years of raising their children and struggling to make ends meet, Drenda learned from their mistakes. “I didn’t know how to be a wife and mother, but God saved our marriage, taught us how to parent our children for success, showed us how to have financial success, and then the irony of all ironies, He called us to ministry.” It’s truly because of these life experiences that Drenda can now share so many insightful principles for people who are now going through the same struggles.