Blaming is Lame
by Drenda Keesee
First, realize that we have all made parental mistakes, but we can’t let our children use our mistakes to worm their way out of discipline. When we made a mistake, we went to our children and said, “Mom and Dad made a mistake, but we’re still in authority. You still need to obey us. I lost my temper, something went wrong on my end, but that is not an excuse for you to act out.” We didn’t let them control us.
Children try almost anything to convince their parents why…
…they shouldn’t be disciplined, and why it was somebody else’s fault, and then they don’t receive any punishment. That trains children that if they can put on the tears, and if they can manipulate people, there won’t be consequences for their actions.
We once knew a sweet couple that always believed the best in people. That was a great strength they had, but it became their downfall in parenting. When their children got in trouble, they immediately took their child’s defense. They would ask their child, “Did you do that?” and when their child said no, that was the end of the discussion. Whether there were one or twenty witnesses, they couldn’t believe their children would deceive them. These kids grew uncontrollably, fell away from God, and continued to manipulate and blame others for their problems. Meanwhile, their parents still took false responsibility for their actions.
ps…Are you looking for a good church? Be sure and listen on Saturday evening or catch the 3 services on Sunday for Faith Life Church!
*Excerpt from “The New Vintage Family” by Drenda Keesee
Drenda Keesee’s contagious zeal and humorous personal experiences help make her ministry of spiritual, emotional, and relational wholeness one that will bless your life and spark a new fire in your spirit.
A wife of over 30 years and a mother of five children, Drenda has ministered at churches, seminars, and conferences, and through the mediums of television and radio, for more than 20 years.
Her books, The New Vintage Family, Better Than You Think, and She Gets It are available wherever books are sold. In these heartfelt books, Drenda shares her personal journey and the life lessons that have brought her to where she is today, as well as practical answers that all people need to live a joyful life.
Drenda and her husband Gary founded Faith Life Now, a ministry designed to spread the message of freedom in the areas of finances, faith, marriage, and family. Tune in for their weekly messages here. Faith Life Now hosts conferences worldwide and sponsors both Fixing the Money Thing, which Drenda co-hosts with her husband Gary and Drenda.
Through their own life experiences, the Keesee’s have found the principles from God’s Word to be powerful and effective. At one point, Drenda was a young, suicidal feminist with no hope of ever being “good enough” for her own standards of perfection. She never wanted the “inconvenience” of a husband or children, and she was on her own path to success. But the stress of trying to achieve perfection and perform for love left her broken and used. She had success, but it was nothing compared to the pain and loneliness it had also brought.
That’s when God got a hold of her heart. It was there—at her lowest point—that she found the One who accepted and loved her, faults and all. Since that transformation, Drenda has had a passion to reach women who find themselves where she once was.
She married Gary after attending college, and there she found herself in a personal boot camp of sorts. She says, “I cried and told God, ‘I can do anything but be a wife and mother.’” She committed to learning how to do it God’s way. Through the many years of raising their children and struggling to make ends meet, Drenda learned from their mistakes. “I didn’t know how to be a wife and mother, but God saved our marriage, taught us how to parent our children for success, showed us how to have financial success, and then the irony of all ironies, He called us to ministry.” It’s truly because of these life experiences that Drenda can now share so many insightful principles for people who are now going through the same struggles.