Are You Too Tired for Sex?
by Terri Bonin
If sex has so many health, benefits why don’t we do it more?
Good question. These are the most common excuses, as well as the tried and true remedies we have found most effective!
Number one, of course, is that you’re…
Too tired!! – There are a number of reasons a person can be tired. Lack of sleep is the most obvious. Sleep is important. Schedule enough time for it. If falling asleep or staying asleep is a problem, then use essential oils to help! There are several sleepy oil choices. Try the oil blend Tranquil, or rub lavender and cedarwood on your temples and neck. Diffuse these oils next to your bed. Drink 2-4 drops of lavender. I drink about 4 drops on those nights I’m not tired but it’s getting late. My husband drinks double the amount of lavender that I drink before bed. Vetiver is an AMAZING sleep oil, too. It is a low tone oil that will put you into a deep sleep and help you wake up fresh. My husband and I are oil junkies in the sleep department, but hey! It could be worse, right? Here’s the sleepy oil list:
- Roman Chamomile
Next, work on your sleep rhythm. Sleep will pull on your eyelids at a decent hour if you make yourself roll out of bed earlier. At first, this may mean you’ll be dragging out of bed versus bouncing out of bed, but the healthy rhythm will come. Studies have proven that people who practice a regular sleep routine are trimmer and healthier than those who have sporadic or even late bedtimes. Think about it. Healthier weight, happier marriage because you’re rested and more cheerful during the day…yes, the benefits of taking control of your sleeping habits are worth it! Forget about the weight benefit, your marriage is worth it. Most people need a solid 8 hours of sleep to feel rested. I know that’s true for me and I bet it’s true for you, too. Up your sleep game.
Besides sleep, vitamins, or lack thereof, can play a key role in your energy level. Personally, if I don’t take my vitamins, I’m worthless. And I mean WORTHLESS! I call it being vitamin dependent. Some people are, and others aren’t. I am. So I take supplements to keep this body moving. My top favorite supplements for energy are:
- Ningxia Red
- Master Formula
- Super B
The ones listed above are the ones that give me the energy to function like a normal human. I also have a few favorite oils I inhale deeply if I need an energy boost. They are:
- Inner Child
- Any citrus oil (lemon, lime, grapefruit, orange, citrus fresh)
- Mister (I actually rub this one on my wrists and neck and gain superpowers from it! No kidding! Try it! I LOVE Mister! It’s a game changer for me!)
My list of favorites may change next week, but those are the ones I keep in my purse today.
Overeating – When I spend the day mindlessly stuffing my face, the last thing I want to do is get naked and be touched!! If a full, bloated tummy inhibits you too, then understand that overeating actually becomes a selfish act against your spouse. Ouch! I know. Don’t touch my food! It’s one of my daily pleasures, but seriously consider pushing back the plate if it affects what happens under the covers with your spouse. However, overeating can be caused by being nutrient deficient. If you seriously struggle with overeating, then you need to supplement. Give your cells what they are screaming for and they will become satisfied with smaller amounts of food. If you do not give your cells what they need for fuel, then your will to NOT overeat will be in a battle with your chemistry that is SCREAMING for nutrition. In the will versus chemistry battle, self-will rarely wins. Supplements that are infused with essential oils are absorbed into the cells regardless of the condition of the gut, so consider this when you’re choosing your supplements. Another easy trick to tame the hunger monster is inhaling the essential oil peppermint. Studies have been conducted on peppermint and weight loss, and it was discovered that inhaling peppermint before meals can help you push back the plate. The peppermint causes your hypothalamus to think your stomach is satisfied! Imagine that! It’s strange, but it works.
Too busy – Some seasons are busier than others, and there is nothing we can do about it. But in too many instances, our culture finds it socially acceptable for activities to destroy families, as if activities are the key factor in what makes or breaks our children! No!! Stop the insanity! Children need strong families more than they need little league. I know in my family when our kids are too busy, our marriage is affected. My husband and I choose who plays sports in each season and he coaches their teams as much as possible to keep us connected. We control our nightly activities so that we can sit around the dinner table AT LEAST 3 times a week. It’s proven that families who do this build stronger emotional bonds than families who don’t. Guarding the evenings helps marriage and family! Don’t get TOO busy!
Wounded feelings – Face it, we girls get our feeling hurt and expect our men to figure out what’s wrong on their own. That’s just not fair. Men don’t see the world through our sensitive eyes. Sex makes your husband putty in your hands and gives you the opportunity to tell him gently what’s on your heart afterward. Sex opens the door to clear communication. Benefit from it!
No desire – This is a pretty common one among women.You obviously WANT to WANT sex, but your hormones are against you! First, address your hormones. I suggest:
- Fem Gen
- Progessence Plus
- Prenolone Plus
- Marjoram Clary Sage
- Dragon Time
- Lady Sclareol
- Ningxia Red
- Master Formula
- Super B
- Life 5
(You can learn more about these products in the Essential Oils Desk Reference, or at TheDropsofJoy.org Another fun tip that sets me in a happy mood is showering with essential oil body products. When I lather up with Dragontime shower gel and lotion my body with Sensation body lotion, I feel happy. My hormones love me when I shave with Mirah shave oil. Is it placebo or are the oils truly altering my mood? Who cares? It works!
Also, concerning your desire toward your husband, don’t underestimate the power of prayer. I’ve been in that place with no desire, so I prayed about it. I KNOW God wants husbands and wives to enjoy this aspect of marriage often, so when I struggle, I take it to the One who designed the activity in the first place and He ALWAYS helps! In a nutshell, I ask my Creator to help my body to crave my husband’s body, and I am proactive with my hormone oils, my thoughts, and my actions toward my husband. It works. Prayer always works. “…The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” James 5:16 KJV.
Yes. I’m telling you to pray about your sex life and ask God for His creative ideas in the bedroom. He’ll surprise you. I promise.
Don’t feel well – First, get a physical exam to make sure everything is ok. If all’s well, but you are certain your body is not right, then DEFINITELY begin to make changes. First, start drinking Ningxia Red DAILY!! It feeds the cells and will give you the fuel you need to move forward in other ways. The highly absorbable Master Formula multivitamin listed above will greatly help, too! My body LOVES that supplement pack. Also, the web has a TON of information on eating clean, so make sure you’re eating real foods to nourish your body. If you don’t feel great, it’s hard to have GREAT sex, so consider everything that goes into and onto your body, including soaps, lotions, body care products, and candles. Everything we rub on our skin or inhale is absorbed into our bloodstream.
Different bedtimes – In rare cases, different bedtimes cannot be avoided, but most of the time it’s just sloppy scheduling. Get under the covers each night WITH your husband, because it’s healing. It says, “You’re more important than…(fill in the blank.)” Sit up and read together. Talk. Snuggle. Make bedtime your favorite time of day because of the quiet one-on-one time you get with your spouse.
I’m believing these sex tips will make a difference for you and your marriage like they have for us! Enjoy!
If you would like a private invite to the for ladies only Sex & Oils Facebook party please send us a private message on our Facebook page here! You can come in your pj’s in the privacy and comfort of your own home and learn more about having a healthy happy sex life with your husband! It’s G-rated and still chocked full of great information and tips!
*The excerpt was taken from Terri’s new book “Drops of Pleasure“, where you can find more insight on married sex and recipes to take your love life from ho-hum to off the charts WOW!
Meet Terri Bonin, the author of 31 Days to Fit, 14 Days to Ignite Your Marriage, and Live, Laugh, Love, and Laundry. Terri’s 23-year union with her favorite dentist (her husband), has been prosperous in their prolific production of 10 darling children. She also holds a degree in nutritional counseling which seems to be most frequently used to persuade her children to eat their greens. Terri’s secret pleasure is sneaking away from juggling the daily tasks, homeschooling, and dating her husband to escape to her office to write for her own enjoyment. As you can imagine she has a LOT to write about!