“A ‘Balanced Life’ is a Big, Fat Lie”
by Londa Harpster
Do you just love that high that comes after a good long run? There is nothing like it! Runner’s high, it’s called. You don’t? Me neither. I don’t run. If you ever see me running you should run too because there are probably clowns with knives chasing me. There are runners in my family- two of them, in fact. Our oldest son just completed his first marathon. For the rest of the family, we have a saying among us that goes like this, “runner’s high is a lie.” I don’t mean to frighten you, but the same could be said for finding balance in your life between…
Do a quick Google search for “finding balance in life” and that search will yield 48, 500,000 answers. You will find “The Wheel of Life,” “Worn out?” “10 Simple Ways to Have Balance,” “5 Tips for Better Balance,” “9 Steps for Creating Balance” and on and on and on. I cannot even make this stuff up. In those 48,500,000 answers you will find balance just for men, just for women, and balance just for over-whelmed children. You will find balance from a home décor perspective, a medical perspective, a psychologist perspective and a host of religious perspectives.
Of the 48,500,000 answers that spin and cater to every whim and fancy, every possible personality and speak to every gender, race, creed and manner of living; there is one thing you will not find. You will not find balance, friend. The balance between work and your life is not there; in fact, it is not anywhere.
Your groans are literally audible from my office. I know. No, really, I know. Stick with me. I did not want to believe it either, but life has taught me differently and now, by the grace of our Designer, I will teach you what I know. Which, in the larger spectrum of life, ain’t much? But this…this I know. The seven children having been raised and/or currently being raised in my home know it too.
You see, friend, while it is true that I am a stay at home, home schooling momma, I’m also an incurable businesswoman. I love business like I love chocolate cake, maybe even more. In my 22 years of being a mom, I have nearly always had “something on the side” as they say. From the home business industry to traditional brick and mortar business to what I do now as a certified professional life coach and mentor- I love it all. At the same time I have, like most of you, a fierce loyalty to the not-so-little one’s in my home.
Let me share some mind-blowing truth with you. There is no such thing as balance. The scale will always tip one side or the other. What we have to look for is harmony and peace in the imbalance of it all. Life is lopsided. That is truth you can take to the bank. The question we should be asking is not how to find balance, but how to peacefully, joyously, graciously, and with harmony come through each season of imbalance.
Recently, a friend of mine in the home business industry wanted to hit a large bonus in his business which would result in being able to achieve a life long goal of purchasing a home facility that will serve as a healing and transformation center for people in his community and beyond. This brilliant man sat his family down and explained to them that for the next 45 days he would be laser focused on hitting this goal. He explained the who, what, where, why and when. In all his wisdom he also let them know what each of their roles were to be in this 45 days and what the personal reward would be for each member of the family and the family as a whole. The results? Forty-five days later he earned a new car, put the down payment on the home and took his family out to party and celebrate like never before. Was there balance? No. There was harmony in the disproportioned season of life.
We can all take a cue from my friend. Teach your family that there will rarely-to-never be balance because that is reality and anything else sets them up for failure. Next, teach them how to navigate the imbalance of life because we are imperfect, imbalanced, unfocused people and this will set us all free to throw fear to the side and see our biggest dreams as possible when we work together using our family as the team they were created to be and accomplishing all we are created to do. Lastly, teach them to celebrate the accomplishments big and small. Let nothing pass without recognition.
This is what I know to be true.
~Londa, The Mom Coach
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