9 Secrets I Learned from Happily Married Women

 9 Secrets I Learned from Happily Married Women

By Rhonda Stoppe


To be happily married––is this the longing of your heart? I know this was my desire as a young bride, but because I had no healthy marriages in my own family to learn from, I was unsure of how to make this happen.

As life’s responsibilities pressed in, I realized I was not the fun-loving, joy-filled wife I had hoped to be. So I cried out to the Lord for help. He sent to me several older ladies in my church––ladies who were Titus 2 women.

And what did these godly women teach me? Were they quick to rattle off a list of things I needed to change? No. First, these wonderfully wise women befriended me.

Then, over time, as these women became my friends, they were able to discern what I needed to learn from them so they could help me learn how to be a better wife. And their insights were life-changing. Here are some of my favorite pointers from my Titus 2 friends…


  • Take a nap when the baby sleeps so you are not too tired to stay up with your husband after the children go to bed. A well-rested wife is a joyful wife.
  • Keep your house clean, but don’t obsess over making it so perfect your husband is not comfortable in his own home.
  • Never, ever raise your voice to your husband. Speak calmly and quietly when you are in disagreement because “a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).
  • Always guard your husband’s reputation. Never talk behind his back.
  • Never belittle or make fun of your husband.
  • Make time to enjoy each other.
  • Fight for joy, because “the joy of the LORD is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10).
  • Pray for your husband.
  • Love God’s Word and study it daily, and commit to applying its truths to your life. God’s Word will be a lamp to your feet and a light to your path (see Psalm 119:105).

The last point is the most important one I learned—to love God’s Word. As I studied the Bible each week with these women and they helped me apply God’s truth to my life, I began to be transformed by the renewing of my mind (Romans 12:2).[1]

My thinking became different. As a result, my marriage became different as well—for the better. Life’s experiences were being filtered through God’s truth, and that truth was changing who I was.



Deanna's Photos of Rhonda - 04Rhonda Stoppe is the NO REGRETS WOMAN. With more than 20 years experience of helping women live life with no regrets.

Visit to order Rhonda Stoppe’s books:  MOMS RAISING SONS TO BE MEN which is mentoring thousands of moms to guide sons toward a no-regrets life. And her new book IF MY HUSBAND WOULD CHANGE I’D BE HAPPY-And Other Myths Wives Believe (Harvest House Publishers) is helping countless women build no-regrets marriages. As a pastor’s wife, speaker, and author, Rhonda has helped women to:

  • Discover significance and purpose for their lives 
  • Impact the moral fiber of the next generation by raising children with integrity 
  • Find victory over people-pleasing 
  • Experience a No Regrets Marriage 
  • Build an incredible legacy 
  • Become more influential than they ever dreamed possible          

[1] Stoppe, If My Husband Would Change I’d Be Happy (Harvest House 2015)

[2] Stoppe, Moms Raising Sons to Be Men (Harvest House Publishers 2013)



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