by Sue Detweiler
When my four daughters were younger, I made up a cheer that we would recite at different times: “Two, four, six, eight… Who do you appreciate? Momma! Momma! She’s so great!” Of course, we would cheer for different children by name. I had my own cheerleaders who gave hugs, kisses, and smiles. Back then, I actually felt like a good mom.
If we, as mothers, are not careful we can begin to find our identity in our children and their behavior.
The truth is…
…the behavior of your children is not the measure of your value and worth as a person. As a life-giving mom, your LIFE needs to flow from the ultimate life-giver — GOD.
I am going to begin blogging regularly on Sonoma Christian Home. No, I will not give a typical step-by-step guide on how to raise perfect children. I am not offering an underlying promise that if you follow my “guidelines” you will have a predicament-free family.
Have you noticed that every child has a free will? You and I can’t control what our children choose. We can guide them in the way they should go. We can discipline and instruct them. We can teach them about God. We can even make life for them miserable unless they obey us. But we can’t MAKE them be perfect children.
God is the only perfect Father, and He experienced something similar. He put His children in a perfect garden, and they still chose to rebel. In fact, we are still dealing with Eve’s choices today. She was the first mom who really had issues.
As we begin this journey together, here are some ground rules for Life-Giving Moms:
1. Be kind to yourself
Remember your value and worth as a human being is not based on how you “perform” as a mom. Have a sense of humor. Laugh and enjoy life as a mom.
2. Be Kind to Other Moms
This is not a race to see which mom can do the most “mom-stuff” possible. Refrain from judging or criticizing other moms. Encourage each other and recognize that each mom is unique, just as each child is unique.
3. Be Kind to your Children
Take time to understand your child’s needs. Look at things from their perspective. You will still need to hold them accountable for their actions, but it is helpful to them and to you to know the motives of their heart.
Every day we face situations where we need to instruct and discipline our children. It is tiring and frustrating. Often the situations are a recurring pattern in our child’s life. Just a moment ago, I got a text from my single neighbor because our sons and their friends ran through her yard – AGAIN.
You know what cycles you are facing with your children.If you aren’t careful you will be constantly frustrated and angry. This will only make your children wonder why you are “mean all the time.”
So set some ground rules: Be kind to yourself, be kind to others and be kind to your children and you will be a Life-Giving Mom.
Sue Detweiler, mom of 6, author of 9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom believes that it is possible to take down the super-mom facade long enough to transform the hidden places of a mom’s heart. Sue admits that she like most moms, has moments where her own unresolved issues come to the surface. What do we do with our own imperfections?
Join Sue as she blogs about becoming a Life-Giving Mom by replacing your worst with God’s best. You can connect with Sue at http://www.suedetweiler.com/.
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